Master Of Thighs

So the next distinguished member of the B.A.N. I'd like to introduce you to is our dear friend The Thighmaster, proprietor of Thighs Wide Shut, which is the pre-eminent place for one to discover puns that are practically Shakespearean in their grandeur, and links to some of the funniest, most random corners of the pop culture universe. If you want to find out whatever happened to that chick who guest-starred as Kevin's love interest on an episode in the 2nd season of The Wonder Years, this is your place (especially if she grew up to be hot). Some of the finest examples of the Thighmaster's work can be found in his year-end round-ups, the latest of which you'll find after the jump! - Alex

Three's A Crowd… PLEASER!


Remember Thighs Wide Year 1? We hadn't the slightest idea as to what the fridge we were frazzen. Year 2 wasn't much different, cept our penis outgrew our ego by something like 20 inches. And so here we here, Year 3. A lot has changed. We've gottsen lazyierer. You blame YouTube. I blame Valerie Plame. But lettuce not play the Plame game. Lettuce ketchup on all the poop that's worth re-pooping!!!

Thighs Wide Herstory

March 8 - Tony! Toni! Tone!, we did it again! Another year, another recap, another hit with people googling for weird shit

March 17-20 - we hit up the Emerald Isle, and it hits back!

March 27 - Borat movie gets a release date. We say, ‘Here's hoping everyone's flavorite Kazakhstani flushes away the (in)competition‘. Who knew that it actually would?

March 30 - Alabama Leprechaun fever hits an all time high!

April 20 - we make our first of 3712873712 Lily Allen mentions. And yes, we still claim that we invented her US career dammint! And yes, wer still want to make love to her myspace background! Four days later, we're offically in love her music and everything chav!
April 21 - I get to inderectly ask Sasha Cohen a question

April 26 - We meet Kurt Vonnegut, celebrate with non-related mp3

May 3 - Gawker unintentionally rips and pisses us off

May 5 - Peabs returns from his self-imposed exile to give us his indepth take on his Coachella trip, which includes some ye olde fisting of Cesar Chavez with a buckle full of table grapes and a head full of bad memories. Obvs.

May 7 - the Thinker returns from his self-imposed exile to report on the disaster that was the Public Enemy & Ice-T concert

May 22 - we go batty and post, not only a ton o links, but a ton o vids and mp3s from our formative years

June 1 - The Fap Five revolution is born

June 7 - Brooklyn Vegan, behind the Beard & Mustache Championship website, is outted as our mos flavorite website

June 12 - Gorrila Mask frynally gives some Thigh love (see Problem Child)

June 15 - our love of Radiohead ends

June 19 - The Gum & Grambo get EW props, Grambs give props to us, yet our Thighs are too sweaty for print

June 21 - blogging indirectly reunites me with the girl/thighness who's more adorablerer than early 90s Winona Ryder, and on the same day, Portugal beats Mexico in the World Cup, deciding once and for all, who is the greatestist country in the world, and we return from Aruba, without Natalee

July 2 - we break our long silence on Lohag

July 10 - on - Zidane's headbutt aninated gif madness begins and never truly ends

July 19 - Pat O'Brien's honeybunch Betsy, as in ‘Betsy's so jealous', has a blog and we open it up to the world… and it closes shop 12 days later

July 25 - we see right thru the lameness that is Little Miss Sunshine, the rest of America choozses not to listen. On the same day, Fleshbot gives us some mornin wood!

July 31 - Mel Gibson is a big idjiot day!

August 1 - After our lackluster visit to the Football HOF in Canton, we decide to rank all the HOFs we've been to

August 4 - 6 - we (sorta) hit up Lollapalooza

August 10 - Although Royal Thighnesship interest is at an all time low, we hint at who's next in line

August 14 - we return to the birthplace of the corn pic

August 21 - yes, we are 400% gay for Chris Isaak

August 23 - our head and our penis' head almost explode taking in The Quiet, which stars both Cuthbest and Camilla Bellebest

August 24 - fittingly, our mos flavorite TV show of balls thyme, Twin Peaks, becomes the subject of our very first themed fap Thursday

September 8 - football season finally arrives and we correctly predict that the Colts would win the Super Bowl. Take that Dr Z!

September 20 - we hit 3 mil in visitors

September 26 - Aaron Sorkin's new show blows, and don't we know it!

October 10 - Lily Allen and the Thigh Master, in one room!

October 16 - the weight is frynally over as we post the The Most/Best - Ghetto/Ass - crazy/beautiful - Local Commercial Ever up on YouTube




October 20 - 22 - Bloomington, IN's fart intake goes up by 373782397%

November 1 - Ozzie Smith is named our mos flavorite St Lunatic of balls thyme

November 13 - praise Jeebus as Joe Gibbs benches Mark Brunell!!!!

November 14 - 17 - the biggest Don onSlaught on Bond Girls mt EVERest

November 30 - Cuthbest turns 24

December 12 - Wii rules the day

December 15 - our female mascot fetish attracts the attention of Deadspin

December 20 - Underdog movie news prompts us to use toon versh for our background pic, which sadly forked up our system and every post prior to it is now stuck with said bckgnd image

December 28 - Fiery F-er, Matthew Friedberger tops our ‘06 music thingamajig!

December 28 - we finally interviews someone! And not juss someone, but LILY FORKIN ALLEN!!

January 3 - In Oder Aus for the ‘007 drops. In all honesty, this is one of our mos flavorite things to drop besides deuces!!

January 14 - Chargers die, Andy Rooney doesn't

January 22 - Lynch, what the f%ck was that?

January 25 - Falkor's little sister turns 21

January 31 - The Devil & Daniel Johnston is our #1 pick for breastest flick of the ‘006 + many other goodies!

February 9 - in one of the mos quietestest dethrownings, we bid adieu to year-shlong reign of Camilla Belle and hola to Her Royal Thighness The VIII, Leonor Ceballos Watling


February 14 - the Thighmistress survives V-day at White Castle!

February 26 - we hit 4 million visitors AND we get to touch a dildo! but not at the same time

March 2 - 4 - my a$$ re-enters the state of Indiana. Sadly for everyone else, so do my farts

March 8 - Thighs Wide Shut turns 3 and you don't

Click here for the breast!!

Tags: Entertainment, BAN, Thighs Wide Shut