Britney Hopes "Comeback" Performance At VMAS Will Make Us Forget She's Toe-Up And In Lots Of Trouble

This performance better be Queen at Live-Aid. Hendrix at Woodstock. It better be Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall right before her ass died. It better be L.L. Cool J doing "Mama Said Knock You Out" with the deodorant hanging out of his pits on MTV Unplugged. It better be Ricky Martin at the Grammys making us think he was straight! It better be them rolling the rock back and Jesus had high-tailed it outta there! Insert other famous kickass performances here. Britney's planning to redeem herself by performing at the VMAS. Seriously, she needs to bring it because redemption isn't in the cards. She's Bill Buckner at this point. Look, a straight sports reference!

Britney Spears is preparing for a "surprise" performance at the MTV Video Music Awards Sept. 9 in Vegas. One insider tells us Brit's recent meetings with manager Jeff Kwatinetz are geared toward fine-tuning her routine, and that her label is worried any missteps (or a no-show) could hurt her comeback.

Seriously, make some blind children see. That might work.