Victoria Beckham To Never Ever Sing Ever Again

Fans of Victoria Beckham's 2002 number 6 smash hit A Mind Of Its Own, if you exist, prepare yourselves for the worst.

You're never going to see Victoria Beckham perform that live again. Or any of her other two solo singles. Or any songs by any other human in the history of music. Victoria Beckham, you see, has formally retired from music.

It's not really a surprise - money-grabbing Spice Girls reunion tours aside, Victoria Beckham has only used her voice to babble on relentlessly about herself in an infuriating hairdresser monotone for the past five years ago. But at least Victoria Beckham has made it official, leaving her free to concentrate on her arduous day job. We'll get back to you when we know what that actually is.

We think Victoria Beckham is a modern-day Renaissance woman, but that's because our understanding of the original Renaissance is that it involved lots of 14th century Europeans half-heartedly trying their hands at different barely-defined jobs and then not worrying when they failed because they were married to millionaire footballers and got their face in Heat at least every couple of weeks anyway. Which we think actually happened.

There's literally nothing that Victoria Beckham can't do. Although she says she works in the fashion industry now - which means she follows Katie Holmes around the shops once every couple of weeks - Victoria has also managed to become a red hot TV personality and actress, so long as you count one embarrassingly scaled-back TV show and a woeful appearance on Ugly Betty as red-hot, plus she's also a world famous singer.

Except she's not. Not any more. Victoria Beckham's solo career was over from roughly the second it b...

Read the full post at Hecklerspray

• New Beverly Hills 90210: Painfully Like Old Beverly Hills 90210 Jul 03
• Tatum O'Neal Pleads Guilty To All That Drug Stuff She Did Jul 03
• A-Rod's Wife Apparently Schtupping Lenny Kravitz Now Jul 03
• Christie Brinkley Divorce: Porn! Porn Porn Porn! PORN! Jul 03

• ICYDK Katie Holmes' play failing to sell? Jul 04
• Sky Showbiz Is Vic's Man Jealous? Jul 04
• Defamer The Lost Boy [The Clip Show] Jul 04
• JustJared Happy 46th Birthday Tom Cruise! Jul 04
• Hollywoodtuna Daily Tuna Jul 04
• Celebitchy 'Megan Fox dumps Brian Austin Green' links Jul 03
• Celebitchy Keith Urban got Nicole Kidman $73,000 Cartier ring as baby gift Jul 03
• PerezHilton If They Make Another Batman Movie… Jul 03