Madonna's Big Custody Showdown Shelved Yet Again

Madonna's a busy lady, what with her old lady crotch about to go on a world tour and all.

And that means that nobody's allowed to mess Madonna around. Nobody, that is, except the Malawi High Courts. Today was the day when Madonna was supposed to discover whether or not she'd gained permanent custody of David Banda, her adopted Malawian son.

But it didn't happen - the court has delayed its final ruling until next week. That's not ideal for Madonna, but it's even worse for David Banda, who outgrew his tiny soiled lightless holding pen that Madonna keeps him in about 15 months ago and just wants to eat something other than hay.

Since Madonna has a new album out and a world tour about to commence, you'd expect to see Professional Madonna out and about - you know, the age-defying pop icon with the bulging arms and the escapologist vagina.

But because the final ruling over her adoption of David Banda is due now, Professional Madonna has to keep transforming into Caring Mother Earth Madonna now and again - you know, the middle-aged woman with the veiny arms and the vagina that's kept tucked neatly under her bed for special occasions.

And it's the latter who's on the loose at the moment, because we're getting to the time when we'll discover if David Banda - the little semi-orphan that Madonna adopted from Malawi in 2006 to great controversy - gets to stay with Madonna forever or if he'll have to fly back to Malawi again and live the rest of his short life as a kind of social pariah ...

Read the full post at Hecklerspray

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