Denise Richards: Charlie Sheen's sperm is 'tranny-infested'

Denise Richards is taking advantage of the news vacuum created by the 3-Day Weekend and opening her mouth to anyone in the press that will listen. This time around, it's Page Six who has the scoop on Charlie Sheen's sperm:

Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: "I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting and he's hit an all-time low."

And then, like any good divorcee, Denise continued rambling about her interactions with Charlie:

"Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he's going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold," Richards said. "His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis."

I don't want to call this press barrage brilliant marketing for Denise's show - because it's not. I've now gone from having zero interest in her show to wanting to break into anyone's house that's watching it and drown their TV in the tub. It's actually a pretty feasible aspiration as long as those five people* live close to each other. Also, I'm not even bothering to stop Denise herself from watching. Are you kidding me? She's infected with tranny-sperm. Eww! Gross! *Margin of error +/- 5. But mostly -.

Photos: Splash News