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SYTYCD: Don't Leave It Paused On Your TV

Posted July 3rd ago via Best Week Ever
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John-Mayer
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Last night, I was watching So You Think You Can Dance on DVR (have you heard of this amazing technology that stops time?), and had to temporarily pause the show to go break up a raccoon fight in my backyard. Well, when I came back, I saw the frozen screen and realized…this is not something you'd want your roomy, lover, or cat to see.

It totally reminds me of the time when a new roommate of mine walked through the room while I was watching Monster's Ball, right during the sex scene where Halle Barry is grunting and saying 'I want somebody to make me feel goooood!' AWKWARD!!

Aaaanway, on to the recap of last night's show. Tonight the dancers performed two routines - which can only mean one thing: the competition is HEATING UP. Thankfully, there weren't any annoying pre-taped 'let me reveal something totally superficial about my partner' segments. Tabitha & Napoleon were the guest judges, which can only mean one thing: even more long-winded criticisms after each dance! Host Cat Deeley is dressed up like a penguin.

SIGNS THAT NIGEL IS ABOUT TO PULL OUT A SHOTGUN AND START PICKING OFF AUDIENCE MEMBERS: Saying to the audience, after getting annoyed several times with the audience's boos, 'Look, I'm trying to improve people on this show, and if you don't like that, then why are you here? You can stop coming to the show. You can boo me, but don't boo my good comments. Shut up and listen.' Daaaaamn. Did somebody get their once a month?

MOST TERRIBLY MANGLED ATTEMPT AT A PUN AND/OR CLEVER METAPHOR: Nigel was not comfortable with Courtney's impersonation of a hip-hop dancer, saying 'Courtney, you're not ghetto, you're more like Santa Clause's grotto.' Huh?

BEST SUGGESTION THAT SYTYCD WILL BE INCLUDED IN HISTORY TEXTBOOKS: Nigel, when praisi...

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