AUG

04

So Blake Lively won a big ole' surfboard. Where do you store that award? It's going to look out of place if your living room is minimalist. Blake's show Gossip Girl, and the Jonas Brothers were the triumphant champions at last night's Teen Choice Awards.

The androgynous Jonas Brothers won six of those ugly surfboards, in categories such as Choice Breakout Band, Male Hotties and Male Red Carpet Icons.

Sole straight guy Penn Badgley and the gays and girls he works with took home surfboards for Choice TV Drama and Breakout Show. Ed Westwick won for Best Bitch or something. Blake Lively and Chace Crawford also took home acting awards. Because looking tall and blonde is a stretch.

David Beckham brought kids Romeo, Cruz and Brooklyn out in matching outfits to help him carry his surfboard for Choice Male Athlete away. Victoria just wanted to show off their shirts which the kids will resent them for in the future. They have the names of Solid Gold dancers.

Photography enthusiast Miley Cyrus took home three awards, and opened the show by performing her terrible new single "7 Things." She also brought her hag friend Mandy Jiroux on stage to perform a dance-off with their famed YouTube competitors, the AC/DC Crew. Ferg...

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