'American Idol' Teaser: Next Season's Hell--Today!!! [American Idol]

As a fitting companion-piece to our passionate defense of all things Seacrest, we offer you now, as if a precious time-capsule sent to us from the near future, a glimpse at the approximately 11 million American Idol hopefuls who swarmed the East Rutherford Government Cheese Distribution Center and Unemployment Gardens for a shot at greatness. Yes, any two of these adorable, undiscovered talents might face off in the show's grand finale: Will it be the girl in the plush Mickey Mouse-top hat? The triple-prophesied blue-eyeshadow lady? Only time, and countless Paula Abdul concussion-inducing blackouts, will tell. In the meanwhile, have a little fun by filling in your own Simon Cowell dream-dismantling one-liners: "You sound like your state smells." Go ahead—try it. It's fun! [Yahoo Video]

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