THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN AT A MAGIC SHOW: Copperfield's Assistant Sucked Into Wind Machine

It would almost be funny if it wasn't so 'blendy'. Magician David Cooperfield wowed audiences in Las Vegas this week when his assistant was SUCKED INTO THE BLADES OF A GIANT WIND MACHINE in a trick we assume is called 'How to Make A Human Smoothie':

Audience members watched in horror as the assistant was sucked into the fan, before another staff member rushed to switch it off. Brandon, who is in his twenties, suffered puncture wounds in his face and broke his arm in several places.

‘Just prior to David himself walking through the fan, [the assistant] was accidentally pulled into the vortex of the moving fan blades, causing injury to his arm and face.

‘The surgery was several hours wherein the doctors could insert pins and bolts. There was a puncture on his face requiring eight or nine stitches. The Copperfield crew waited at the hospital during his arm and face surgery.'

An audience member told the website: ‘One of the assistants dropped to the floor. The curtain came down partially. Blood was everywhere, and the other assistants dragged the victim back. Then the curtain closed all the way.'

Remind me why these people are complaining? Watching a human get liquified in a blender is baaazically a once in a lifetime Coppertunity (at least here in America; it's a pretty common occurrence in the Far East). It would be a bargain at twice the price! If not one of at least 3 different Simpsons episodes.

As far as how the assistant is doing, don't worry about him: Sure, half his body had to be dipped in a coagulator, and sure, he has an automatic Frankenstein Halloween costume lined up from ‘09 to his death, but Copperfield didn't leave him hangin'!:

Copperfield was with his assistant when he woke up after surgery on Thursday morning and presented him with a children's magic kit as a get well present.

Dear David — and I say this as a fellow yid — you cheap, selfish, dee-essing son of a bitch. At least spring for the adult-sized version. And, you know, maybe some string and a coupla needles.

Tags: Entertainment, David Copperfield