Oscars Worst Dressed

Posted Feb 23 via Yeeeah 2009-02-23 18:50:29



Now that we've got the best-dressed out of the way, let's go in for the kill: The 81st Annual Academy Awards Worst-Dressed List. Starting with Beyonce, above. I've heard the expression 'walking like you've got a corn cob up your ass,' but this is ridiculous. I wouldn't be surprised to learn there was a damn Volkswagen up there.

The rest of the list after the jump!



It's like Jessica Biel has a long, sad uniboob that's trying to make a break for it:



Miley Cyrus — The Tree Man called: he wants his scales back:



Zac Efron — the T-Birds called: they want their hair back.



Vanessa Hudgens — Sasha Fierce, called, and she's going to kick your ass:



Why, oh why, Heidi Klum? It's like a combover and a mullet set up shop on her head. And the top half of the dress is ill-fitting and the whole thing just looks sloppy. Ten bucks says Eva Longoria's stylist did her makeup:



Curiously, the only thing tighter than Sarah Jessica Parker's dress was her husband's asshole:



Attention Summer Redstone's wife: Harley Davidson called. They want their logo back.



Frieda Pinto might be shit-hot, but that dress is not. It's straight up Sweeney Sisters:



Evan Rachel Wood looks Coraline's 'other mommy.' I bet her makeup weighs as much as her damn dress. It's a shame to waste a gown that beautiful on her:



Kim Basinger did it better than Kate Winslet eighteen years ago:



Tilda Swinton: neutrals are NOT your friend, my dear:



Philip Seymour Hoffman must have arrived on his skateboard:



Jennifer Aniston, or well-dressed Lhasa Apso?:



Mickey Rourke is a fucking idiot. Or a conductor on a pimp train:



When I look at Nicole Kidman all I can think is 'nipple hair.' That may be the most unflattering dress she's ever worn. It's like her boobs are Abe Vigoda's angry eyes:



Amanda Siegfried: 1984 called. They said you weren't even fucking born yet:



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Filed under:

Jennifer Aniston, Kim Basinger, Jessica Biel, Nicole Kidman, Heidi Klum, Beyonce Knowles, Eva Longoria, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Winslet, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Evan Rachel Wood, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Miley Cyrus, Mickey Rourke, Abe Vigoda

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