OPEN THREAD: Would You Pee Yourself On National Television For $1 Million?

Posted May 05 via Best Week Ever 2009-05-05 12:49:34

This seemed to be the question I kept asking myself during the rousing and completely infuriating ending to last night's Amazing Race pre-season finale episode. The season had dwindled down to the Top 4 remaining teams, after last week's surprising non-elimination episode, where the leg just kept on going. So this was it: We were to determine the final 3 who would race for $1 million.

Now, out of the 4 teams that were left, let's face it: Only two were mildly tolerable. You had the adorable Chinese sister and brother team, Tammy and Victor, who struck gold these last couple of weeks as the challenges have all taken place in China, and Keisha and Jen, another sibling twosome who, despite a crushing fear of water and deaf people, have remained likable even through the hardest of challenges. And then, the other two teams: Luke and Margie, the deaf son and overbearing, prune-faced mother, who prove that even people with disabilities can be giant assh*les, and the red-headed cheerleaders who hate all other cultures and decided to go on a race around the world, Cara and Jaime. Oh, how we loathe Cara and Jaime. Specifically Jaime.

Ahead, the recap continues — with video — and a question for the ages: Would You Pee Yourself On National Television For $1 Million?

Keisha and Jen came in 4th last week during the elimination fake-out, so they were already at a disadvantage. And then, Tammy and Victor had the nerve to 'U-Turn' them, forcing them to complete the other half of the 'Detour' challenge. They should have U-turned Luke and Margie, because even though the sisters might be fast runners, they are also not psychopathic blood-thirsty race winners. But K&J stayed strong, and even managed to show-up at the Road Block in 3rd place.

Oh, and that Road Block: One member of the teams was forced to eat deep fried crickets, larvae, starfish, a whole shmorgasbord of oil-infused creepy crawlies. But, for the first time in Race history, not a single-team moaned and groaned about consuming these things. Whereas I would have been curled up on the ground like a half-dead caterpillar, the teams stayed strong: Only Jen needed the help of water to force the goods down, stopping momentarily to barf and then continued as regularly scheduled. Even the cheerleader — THE CHEERLEADER — powered through with nary a complaint. They really must be hungry.

But still, Keisha and Jen powered through. They finished the eating challenge and cabbed it over to the Bird's Nest, the famously beautiful Olympic stadium where Phil and his fateful map would be waiting. And despite what those crafty Race editors would have you believe, it really seemed like K&J would make it into the Top 3 teams, despite all the obstacles that stood in their way. And then? Then…

Jen had to pee. Real bad. I mean, Jen really had to go. Wearing an opera kimono and a face full of makeup that would have Princess Amidala reaching for the Noxema. And Keisha, being the supportive older sister, ALLOWED HER. Let us relive that moment together, yes?

Sorry, sorry, wrong clip…

If it were my ass on the line, I would have dragged her and her exploding bladder to the mat and let nature take its course. But no. Jen peed. And in the interim, the red-headed cheerleaders whom America has come to despise go to the mat first… and Keisha and Jen were eliminated. Now, to be fair, it looked like their cabbie dropped them off quite a bit further from the mat than the other teams, but still. We blame the sisters.

Which leads us to today's Open Thread topic: How many of you would have peed yourself on national television for a shot at $1 million? While wearing a practically floor length kimono? Especially after you already barfed on TV? I'd like to think I would have, but we are still people and not animals, right?

I would have. Even if it meant that Phil had to see a stream of urine puddling at the anks. And now? We've only got Tammy and Victor left.

(Watch the full episode here if you missed it.)

Tags: Entertainment, The Amazing Race