While You Were Quitting TV Until About October

• Susan Boyle was moved to a 'safe house' in anticipation of the Britain's Got Talent finale. Apparently in the British version of that show, before you make it to the final episode, mob hitmen attempt to murder you.
• Rihanna may testify against Chris Brown in his upcoming June court hearing. Although once the judge sees these, I imagine this case will get tossed out immediately.
• Tom Sizemore was arrested on a drug charge. He's now only one shy of free Chipotle.
• Dr. Dre's long-awaited album Detox will debut in an upcoming Dr. Pepper commercial. Get it? Doctor Pepper, Doctor Dre… offering a lot of money, totally shameless… makes sense.
• And finally, Tom Brady openly declared that Gisele Bundchen is not pregnant. But…is Gisele Bundchen pregnant?