Prince Harry beats Robert Pattinson to be Britain's most eligible bachelor

A recent poll was conducted in Britain to determine the most eligible British man. Of course, the poll skewed younger, or else the unequivocal winner would have been Daniel Craig. Instead, the new James Bond didn't even place in the top five. The winner of this illustrious poll? None other than the Ginger Prince himself, Prince Harry. Harry beat what many British Twihards thought would be the hands-down victor, Robert Pattinson. Other British bachelors who placed on the list include Guy Ritchie and this guy I had to look up, George Lamb. Lamb looks like a scraggy whippet of a boy, but apparently he's Scottish, so I would probably fall in love with him immediately once I heard his accent.

While researching this poll for Britain's Most Eligible Bachelor' I found this horrendous essay by Mark Russell for GQ UK, called In Praise of Prince Harry'. This guy, Russell, fancies himself some sort of Ian Fleming-type journalist, and as he describes why he admires Prince Harry, he uses these words: legendary swordsman, plumped, TV presenter-cum-good-time-girl-cum-one-woman-hen-party, copping a feel, and TV totty. In other words, this guy's a total douche, and he admires the Ginger Prince because he thinks Harry is as gross as him:

There shouldn't really be much to like about Prince Harry. What with all that Afrika Korps business and the racist video diary commentary and the hen harrier 'incident' and the pap spats, and of course, there's always the ginger thing too.

But you have to take your hat off to the third in line to the throne for his taste in women. The man is simply a legend. There are no two ways around it: chicks dig the Big H. Take his latest conquest Caroline Flack, for example. She is, by all accounts, something rather special; a TV presenter-cum-good-time-girl-cum-one-woman-hen-party. The sort of girl who is more used to hanging off the arm of a rocker than a royal. In fact, if the News Of The World had its facts correct yesterday, this is a position Ms Flack has indeed found herself on many occasions. Alleged liaisons include Russell Brand, Noel Fielding, Robbie Williams, Max Beesley… Legendary swordsmen, each and every one, and the H-Dog can now proudly take his place alongside them. He's got previous with TV totty, too, having been photographed copping a feel of Dancing On Ice star Natalie Pinkham in Kitts a few years back.

When it came to long-term girlfriends for the princes, William chose the steady, university-friend classic English rose in the not-uncomely form of Kate Middleton. And Harry? Well Harry plumped for a busty blonde schoolgirl who he met when he scabbed a cigarette off her while he was on a 'double gap year'. He's like Bill Wyman and Ronnie Wood rolled into one. It has to be said, Chelsey Davy looked like she'd be more at home at the Playboy Mansion than Buckingham Palace.

As if to honour this hard work - and prove that there's still plenty more conquests out there for the H-bomb - Company magazine has voted the Prince Britain's most eligible bachelor, beating Robert Pattinson, George Lamb and Guy Ritchie. ('That's easy!' you cry. 'Of course women love him, he's a royal, he's got stacks of the stuff.' Well, not so. Money and power are not always a guaranteed aphrodisiac. Just ask Bill Gates.) Don't believe me still? Ask your other half, she'll tell you. I know I did, and though I was a little shocked at first by the news that this carrot-topped cad was something of a heart-throb among even the most tasteful of women (if I do say so myself), I've got used to the idea now, and bow to his superiority. Which, seeing as ‘Arry is a prince, is probably the natural order of things.

[From GQ UK]

So the only reason men like Prince Harry is because he's a legendary swordsman'? How outdated is that term? Are we all on an episode of Mad Men? And I don't care for the hits on gingers in general (for they are lovely, in general) and the hit on Bill Gates. Honestly, if I was given a choice between Prince Harry, Robert Pattinson and Bill Gates, I would totally choose Gates. For marriage, that is. For just sex I would probably choose Harry. Because he's such a legendary swordsman.

Prince Harry is shown on 6/13/09. Credit: WENN.com and Fame Pictures. He is also shown on 5/30/09 credit: WENN.com