While You Were Smoking Pipes and Fishing, If Those Greeting Cards Are Correct

• Did you guys all have Happy Father's Days? Not if you're Jon Gosselin — Rumors that the couple are announcing their divorce tonight have set the tabloids ablaze. Thank God the children are just old enough to be scarred for life.
• Amy Winehouse plans to move to St. Lucia for good. And in a related story, Absolut and Bacardi have just announced new factory openings in St. Lucia.
• Perez Hilton claims that Black Eyed Peas singer Will.I.Am beat his ass, and rather than call the cops, TWEETS for OTHER PEOPLE to call the cops for him. Will.I.Am claims he had nothing to do with this beatdown, to which we have to say, please, do not be so humble. You will be hailed a hero.
• Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend are expecting their second child. Matt celebrated by growing 2 new abs — his 11th and 12th.
• As though you needed a reason to be weary of Scientology outside of John Travolta's hairline — there's this article.
• Also if you happened to notice two ladies wearing gowns amongst the denim-clad at Saturday night's Jamie Cullum concert, that was my friend and I 'classing it up'. Jamie was amazing — the Times has a review. Oh and getting drunk in a silk gown in the rain? Always a good idea. (And for the record, no I still have not gone through menopause, thank you.)