In Touch: Kate Hudson is a succubus who destroys men's souls

In Touch Weekly has a hilarious story abut Kate Hudson this week. This classic of tabloid journalism is called Kate's a Curse For Men'. In Touch runs down her past relationships with Lance Armstrong, Owen Wilson and Chris Robinson, as well as her current relationship with Alex Rodriguez. The point? Kate exhausts whichever guy she's dating, and she basically destroys their souls. Plus, whenever she and a guy break up or maybe just get together, something really horrible happens. Oh my God, she's a witch! Burn her, In Touch Weekly!

Some of the little photo pull-outs are funny - they've got some of the worst pictures of all of these men, with little snippets saying: Alex Is Exhausted: 'He's burning the candle at both ends,' says A-Rod's friend. 'He seems sluggish and tired' since dating Kate.' And don't forget this: Owen Was Devasted: Owen Wilson reportedly slashed his wrists during a suicide attempt following their split.' The moral of this story is that Kate is a succubus, I think.

Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez stayed out until 2:30 on June 20, and then the next night they hit Blade Lounge.

The chemistry between them was obvious,' a Blade Lounge club goes tells In Touch. They looked amazing together'

But club-hopping probably wasn't the greatest idea for the New York Yankees' third baseman, whose doctor pulled him from a game two days before because of fatigue' - even though he reserved 100 tickets for his family - according to the team's general manager, Brian Cashman.

A buddy of A-Rod's says: He's in the middle of baseball season, yet he's trying to wine and dine Kate... the two don't go together very well.'

According to a friend, Kate is known for commanding a man's attention and getting him to bend to her whims - even it it's not in his best interest. Guys become addicted to her,' says the friend. But trouble follows after men date Kate.

In August 2007, Owen Wilson attempted suicide after their split. Two months after breaking up with Kate, cyclist Lance Armstrong was questioned about using performance-enhancing drugs (he tested clean). Kate's ex-husband, rocker Chris Robinson broke up with his band and broke his hand after falling in love with her.

I had never felt anything like that,' Chris admitted. It kind of took me over.' Since their 2006 separation, the band is back together.

Can Alex escape another Kate-caused controversy? His friend claims that Yankees management have already warned him not to let his latest romance become a distraction.

[From In Touch Weekly, print edition, July 6 2009]

I don't really hate Kate - actually, I find her mildly amusing. While I don't really find her acting career all that interesting, I like that she doesn't seem to follow the typical I'm going to sit around and be a victim and get sympathy' route that so many female celebrities do. Kate's been dumped several times, and she's done the dumping several times. She always moves on and she never feels sorry for herself, which I really admire. As far as the whole sucking the life out of a man's soul' thing... well, most of those guys totally deserve it. Except for Owen. I really do think she messed him up big time, but it's not all her fault. She's not really a witch after all.

Here's Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson making a dash to the car as they exit Casa Tua restaurant in Miami Beach on June 21st. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.