Top 25 Hollywood Hardmen

They may be able to talk the talk - but can they really walk the walk?

Hollywood movies are littered with so-called tough guys. But take away their stunt doubles, green screens and fake guns and what do you have left? Nic Cage? He's just a lanky streak of piss. Mel Gibson? Give me a break. Mark Wahlberg? Don't make us laugh. Tom Cruise? Now you really are taking the piss.

Well, hecklerspray has come up with a list of Hollywood actors we think really could mix it with the best of them. These are Hollywood hardmen who really did live up to the name.

Enjoy! And if you have a problem with our choices, we'll be waiting outside…

25. Kurt Russell

He's the only Snake we like. In his heyday he could kick your ass with just one eye.

24. Bruce Willis

OK, so maybe we are getting carried away after watching the Die Hard series too many times - but what the hell.

23. Lee Marvin

He would slap you like a bitch.

22. Jason Statham

OK, so he would probably get his arse kicked by someone higher than a blue belt in karate, but we'll let him off because he's British and went out with Kelly Brook. What do you mean those are stupid reasons?

21. James Gandolfini

Whatever you do -don't get on the wrong side of him.

20. David Carradine

Forget the fact the he died dressed as a lady in a cupboard with a string around his penis – he was in Kill Bill! Are you kidding?

19. Charles Bronson

You would have to have had a Death Wish to take on Charles Bronson in his prime.

18. Steve McQueen

There's menace in those eyes of his - mark our words. It's also just an excuse to see one of the best movie car chase scenes ever.

17. Chow Yun-Fat

He's one Fat guy you would not want to tease.

16. Jackie Chan

It's hard to think of Jackie Chan as a tough guy, but would you pick a fight with him?

15. Sly Stallone

Even in his eighties – or however old he is – Stallone is still wiping out entire armies and holding his own against heavyweight champs.

14. Steven Seagal

Would have appeared higher but for a story we heard about the Divine Ponytail. Apparently, Seagal was always trash-talking Van Damme back in the day. But then one day while in a nightclub Van Damme had enough and offered Seagal out for a fight, which he backed out of. So it's official – Seagal is not as hard as Van Damme.

13. Vin Diesel

Something tells us he's all fart and no shit, but we'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

12. Russell Crowe

OK, so he's a complete knob. But you get the impression he can handle himself pretty well.

11. James Cagney

So he was a dwarf - but he was a streetwise one. You would not want to turn your back on him, that's for sure.

10. Toshiro Mifune

A World War Two veteran, Toshiro is best known for his collaboration with filmmaker Akira Kurosawa in films such as Rashomon, Seven Samurai, Throne of Blood and Yojimbo. He's also pretty handy with a sword.

9. Sean Connery

A former bodybuilder who even now at hundred and something could probably kick the crap out of most of the supposed Hollywood tough guys.

8. Clint Eastwood

You really would not want to get on the wrong side of Clint.

7. John Wayne

Embodied everything a Hollywood tough guy should be. Now shut up and drink your milk.

6. Jean Claude Van Damme

Would have been higher but for the fact he's Belgian. Nobody from Belgium is that hard.

5. Jet Li

One scary bastard.

4. Dolph Lundgren

During the filming of Rocky IV, Dolph  - a former karate champion in his homeland of Sweden – hit Sly so hard he was put in intensive care.

3. Arnold Schwarzenegger

OK, so he has become a bit of a joke. But laugh in front of him and it could be hasta la vista baby.

2. Bruce Lee

The greatest icon in martial arts cinema. Just was not quite as hard in real life as Chuck Norris, who had a beard and a hairy chest to prove that. But just for Bruce Lee fans, above is Lee kicking the crap out of a young Chuck Norris. Only in the movies...

1. Chuck Norris

There is nothing on this planet harder than Chuck Norris - it's a fact. He's the only man alive that could stage a military coup all on his own. And just to back that up, here are some FACTS about Chuck Norris, courtesy of chucknorrisfacts.com.
1. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
2. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.
3. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
4. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
5. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

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