The Most Wonderful Pretend Prostitutes Of ALL TIME

Everyone knows that, in movies, it's tough being a woman.

The roles on offer tend to only be those of kindly nuns, tearful wives silently rinsing cups in the sink, or unbelievable ball breakers. There is no real middle ground. Of course, one other role that we haven't mentioned yet is that of a wonderful prostitute.

Everyone's played one, from Jane Fonda to Charlize Theron. So with that in mind, we thought it best to highlight the greatest on-screen hookers of them all.

Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman



Yeah, that's right, you probably thought that to become a prostitute, a woman needed to be a toothless, cackling, drug addict. And it's a forgiveable misconception, because up until Pretty Woman came out, that's what we all thought. Plus, gentlemen who used hookers to satisfy their seedy wants were often characterised as sweaty fat men who wouldn't be able to correctly smear sensual handfuls of soft margarine into a lady's buttocks for the life of them. Then Julia Roberts and Richard Gere made every single one of us THINK AGAIN. Him a sexy lothario adept at love makes, her just a girl, standing in a room, demanding money for intercourse. What a wonderful whore.

Patricia Arquette, True Romance



After Roberts threw everyone into a spin by scrubbing up well for a street walker, Patricia Arquette brought us all thundering back down to Earth with her portrayal of a call girl dressed in a Barbie doll's slutty cast-offs. The film begins with Arquette giving Christian Slater some birthday sex as a freebie, then ends up with her strolling into the sunset with her Trick'. But not before she's emotionally blackmailed him into murdering her pimp. Clever girl.

Jamie Lee Curtis, Trading Places

As with the two previous prostitutes, Jamie Lee Curtis ends up coming off the game, thanks to true love, and a lot of money. It's no secret that Jamie Lee Curtis splits consensus, with her rather harsh, angular face. But she also owned one of those 1980s figures that could almost pull off a daring up-the-bum leotard - as worn in a John Travolta film that we can't remember. Plus, she used one scene in Trading Places to unleash her big juicy bosoms - a moment etched on the minds of a generation. In many ways, she was the perfect brass.

Rebecca De Mornay, Risky Business

Hookers, as is probably well documented, sometimes have to make sacrifices for their work. None more so than Rebecca De Mornay in Risky Business, who was forced to endure full-length body-licks from Tom Cruise's slobbering walrus-like tongue. Eventually, having stolen a precious egg from the mantelpiece, the pair strike up an unlikely friendship, and it's not long before her girls are turning tricks and doling out special offer h-jobs from the comfort of Cruise's family home. This makes the fiercely macho actor appear part-pimp/part-madam, depending on your point of view. And De Mornay a proz with a brain for business, and a body… for business.

Elisabeth Shue, Leaving Las Vegas

Whilst the above prostitutes had the time of their lives servicing their johns, Elisabeth Shue issues a chilling warning that sometimes it's not all great breakfasts and suitcases of cocaine. Sometimes, it's Nicolas Cage drinking himself to death, while your downtrodden hooker damn well falls in love with him. Great money, tragic outcome. This film suggests that becoming a prostitute might actually be a bad thing.

This was a guest post by Josh Burt from Interestment. If you like him so much, why don't you marry him?

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