Ali Lohan Will Be Fine

Lindsay Lohan tells Life & Style (via E! Online) not to worry about her 15-year-old sister partying in clubs and bars with her, because she totally can handle drunk bitches, people overdosing and skeezy old dudes flashing her on the dancefloor. Well, she is learning from the best.

The voice of reason said, "She's tougher than I am. She has a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it was different for me because I didn't know what to expect and it just happened really fast. I didn't have a big sister." Blohan also added that Ali knows when to put down the Long Island Iced Tea to finish her homeschool work, "She's really good about that. If I'm going out late, she'll go home early."

I don't even know why Ali is bothering with homeschool. She's already learning the most important skills in life from hanging around her sister. I mean, don't you wish that at the age of 15 you learned how to pump a stomach with Alka-Seltzer pills and a cocktail straw? Or how to vomit perfectly into a bottle of beer without leaving a drop? I didn't learn those life skills until I was 18! AT LEAST! Ali is totally ahead of us all.