Jon Is The New Kate

Hailey Glassman has been very quiet the past couple of weeks. I figured she devoured a shit load of weed which gave her a serious case of laryngitis and numb fingers making it nearly impossible for her to communicate to the media. Well, Hailey is back and she's queefing about how Jon constantly punches her emotions. Now that Jon has his nutsack back the cunt tables have turned.

Hailey tells The Insider in an interview airing tomorrow night, "He'll call me and take his anger out on me. He has 'mantrums.' I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused. I cry and say, 'Why are you so mean to me? Sometimes he has trouble with the truth, and he will dance and dance around his lies. He's like Jekyll and Hyde. But I still love him. I don't want to leave him all alone. At the end of the day, I love him but I dislike him at times. When I love someone I would never hurt them."

Not only does Hailey face Jon's wrath (which sounds as threatening as an angry baby turtle), but she also has to put up with people hating on her, "I met Jon in a bubble. "I'd never seen the show. I had no idea. People judge me before they meet me. I get threats everyday. I get called a home wrecker and a fat whore. People will stare or point. It gets worse everyday."

So let's go over this, shall we? Jon Grosselin is emotionally abusive, constantly does the lie lie mambo, throws something called "mantrums," violates eyeballs by wearing nothing but douche rags and also has the body of a half-deflated hippo balloon? Why is exactly is Hailey screwing on him again? Oh yeah, fame is a serious drug.

And whenever someone calls Hailey a fat home wrecking whore, she should just pull a Sienna Miller and get revenge by fucking their man.