Gary Glitter To Be Hanged On TV For Our Amusement

Back in his heyday during the 1970's, Gary Glitter pumped out shedloads of crap records.

But then again, it was the seventies and at the time no-one really knew what was acceptable and what was absolute toss, so we can forgive him.

However, what the majority of the world can't forgive Gary Glitter for is his antics in Vietnam where he was convicted of doing horrible things to children and spent some time in prison. And now Channel 4 is going to hang him for being a paedophile. Fictitiously. Still, it'll make better viewing than Big Brother.

Believe it or not, this is part of a new season of programmes that Channel 4 is due to broadcast. Looking at capital punishment, it'll examine various situations and ask whether or not it would be practical to bring back hangings and other forms of executions. If so, our place as village idiot has probably been benchmarked.

So what will the programme involve? Sadly, it isn't won't be 60 minutes of footage where people call Gary Glitter all the names under the sun and then burn his crappy records. Instead, it's going to be done in a documentary style, subsequently making stupid people believe it really happened enough to edit his Wikipedia page accordingly.

In a faux-courtroom drama, we'll get to see all sorts of ropey-looking footage chopped up whilst Gary Glitter pleads for innocence and offers a performance for everyone in the country as a way of forgiveness. So why cover something like this when it'll no doubt upset everyone? Speaking to the Metro newspaper, head of documentaries and More 4 Hamish Mykura said:

'High-profile crimes against children often prompts calls for the return of the death penalty - this drama confronts the public with what many say they want. Putting a resonant figure like Gary Glitter into a fictional situation helps to engage the viewer as the drama unfolds.'

Interestingly, a Channel 4-commissioned poll showed that 70 per cent of the public think the death penalty should be reintroduced. So no doubt when the documentary is screened, people will be watching their TV with a cup of tea in one hand, and a pick axe in the other. Joyous times.

And after the human edition, we can swiftly move on to the animal version where we get to beat the shit out of seals.

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