Sex And The City 2 Trailer! Decoded!

Sex And The City 2 is out next year. Yes, you're right to be excited. Or dismayed. But mainly excited.

And guess what? There's a new Sex And The City 2 trailer out! If you're the sort of person who thinks that drinking pikey cocktails and screeching the word ‘fabulous' a lot makes up for the fact that you're a dumpy friendless recruitment consultant from Eastbourne who can't remember ever experiencing a recognisable human emotion, this is bound to be the best news EVER!

We've got the Sex And The City 2 trailer right here for you after the jump. Better yet, we've decoded the Sex And The City 2 trailer for you, moment by moment. It's nothing less than you deserve.

We don't know about you, but we're so excited about next year's Sex And The City 2. The first film just left so many questions unanswered, didn't it, like ‘Where's all the sex?' and ‘Why is this called Sex And The City? There isn't any sex in it. Really, when you think about it, it should be called Horsey Old Ladies In Shit Clothes And The City, shouldn't it?' and, of course, ‘Can they really get away with replicating this crap word for word and calling it a sequel?'

Well, the first Sex And The City 2 trailer has been unveiled and it would seem like the answer to that last question is a great big yes. But we wouldn't want it any other way, right girls? We know what we want from Sex And The City 2, and that's shoes and cocktails and shoes and fabulousness and dresses and handbags and shoes and fabulousness and shoes and dresses and shoes and shoes and cocktails and shoes. And funny-looking old ladies. And shoes! Right girls? SHOES!

But we're getting off-topic here. Let's take a look at the Sex And The City 2 trailer…



But wait! That was such a dazzling cavalcade of fabulousness that you probably don't even know what happened. Let's slow things down and give the Sex And The City 2 trailer the decoding it jolly well needs…

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE ONE:

Look girls, it's Sex And The City 2! All our old friends are here – there's the woman from that new Hugh Grant film…

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE TWO:

… and the lesbian…

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE THREE:

…and the one with the sex tape!

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE FOUR:

And, look! Mickey Rourke from The Wrestler has decided to turn up as well, done up like some sort of slaggy geisha! Fabulous dress, Mickey!

SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE FIVE:

Here we can see Sarah Jessica Parker confronted by her wardrobe. 'What shall I wear today?' she thinks, 'The outfit that makes me look like a transsexual prostitute, the outfit that makes me look like a malnourished child from a broken home or the outfit that makes me look like some sort of fucking ridiculous ungodly flamingo/dalmatian hybrid?' SPOILER ALERT: She wears all three three. At once.


SEX AND THE CITY 2 TRAILER SCENE SIX:

Some camels. We don't know what sort of animals they're all riding, though! Ha ha ha.

You may start thanking us now, Sex And The City fans.

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