The GREATEST Celebrity Big Brother Line Up OF ALL TIME

Make no mistake about it, Celebrity Big Brother is brilliant. It's like the exact opposite of normal Big Brother, in that one features everyday people with weird haircuts attempting to become famous, whilst this one features famous people attempting to convince the world that they are just like you and me.

Only they're not. They're nothing like you and me. For a start, we're really nice. We have no reason to consume breakfast wearing shades. And we don't look like we've spent eight or nine years going to the toilet in between paragraphs.

Anyway, it looks like becoming another fine year for the show, with Stephen Baldwin managing to steer every single conversation, no matter what the topic, around to his boring relationship with Jesus - who, by the way, he hasn't even met. Heidi Fleiss has the look of a woman who might not wake up one morning. And Russian one and music man appear to be using some kind of skunk method to impress one another, using smells from their bottoms.

It's exciting stuff. But will any of these beautiful maniacs ever be able to sit alongside the wonderful names listed below? That's the question.

Vanessa Feltz, 2001



Before entering the BB house in 2001, no one was entirely sure who this woman was. She seemed a bit mumsy. Fast forward exactly four days, and she was the mental one on Big Brother. The one who stood menacingly in a pair of sunglasses writing words like shit', I'm frightened', and oh bollocks' on a coffee table. Or something like that.

Les Dennis, 2002



Everyone loved Les Dennis, mainly because he was an outstanding impressionist. He could do anything from an Australian man to Frank Spencer. Seriously, he was that good. If you closed your eyes and asked Les to do some impersonations, he could honestly make you feel like you were in a room with about three or four other people. Not just Les. He spent his time in the house explaining his marital issues to chickens.

John McCririck, 2005



Only men with gambling problems who smoke stubby cigarettes through a thumb-and-forefinger pincer had ever heard of John McCririck before 2005. He was the horse racing guy who dressed like Sherlock Holmes in a rap video. Now we all know him, mainly as the man who wore big pants, ate his own snot, and casually degraded his wife whilst on live television.

Bez, 2005



Bez had never had it so good as when he won Celebrity Big Brother in 2005, beating off stiff competition from the one who rapped in that group, and the one who was an actor, or an actress or something. Before entering the house, he looked exactly like the kind of man who would ask you for a quid.

Pete Burns, 2006



Before Pete Burns, it's fair to say that most men in the military/prison had never before looked at a man and become quite so sexually aroused. That's because, for a man, Pete Burns was a beautiful beautiful woman. Those plump lips, those flowing locks, those small knickers housing a real-life gentleman's penis. He made talking very slowly about how disgusting he found other human beings his trademark.

Chantelle Houghton, 2006



Hilariously, before 2006's edition, the big throbbing brains behind CBB decided to throw in someone who wasn't actually a celebrity to confuse the other celebrities! Sweet Baby Jane, you should have seen their faces when they found out! They were GOBSMACKED. And probably slightly hurt. Anyway, Chantelle lived every young girls dream by hooking up with a rock star. She went on to complete the dream by marrying him, then divorcing him, and she now has sex with footballers. Presumably.

Leo Sayer, 2007



Sadly, in 2007, Leo Sayer's cameo on the show was rather overshadowed by everyone becoming really racist during an argument. Before that, he was mesmerising, particularly when he stormed out of the house and started pushing the bouncers around, because he'd just that minute run out of underpants and felt very livid about it.

Terry Christian, 2009



The last outing featured a few cracking ones. Particularly good was Verne Troyer - the man who hammered home the point that Hollywood stars really are shorter in real life. But the pick of the bunch was Terry Christian, who managed to morph from being the annoying presenter from The Word into something really quite wonderful.

This was a guest blog by Josh Burt from Interestment, and so say all of us

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