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MAY
08

American Idol: Gang of Four and Songs of Ganja

Posted 1 week ago via TVgasm 
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Images and full post at TVgasm
America learns the proper way to give a hickey. Dear Seabreath, Why does my vote matter more this week? It would only matter more if fewer people were voting, but that doesn't appear to be the case since you claimed that 45 million people voted last week. I may be the only Asian kid alive who can't do calculus, but I still think this is Fetus's American Idol title to lose. No matter what I do, I can't rock the vote! Three of our top 4 have been #1 in the votes in previous weeks, so I'm guessing Miss Syesha never made it to the top. Seabreath claims that we only have two weeks to go. Two weeks until AI decides to squeeze the last bit of milk out of this cash cow with a week dedicated to revisiting auditions and the life and times of rejects. Is that an apathetic Antonella Barba in the audience? Or a poor man's Hillary Swank? Randy is rocking a bedazzled orange shirt, Paula is sparklier than glitter eyeliner that scratches your retinas out, and Simon's v-neck is drooping dangerously, revealing a hint of man-cleavage. Let's learn some American Sign Language Translation: "How many fingers am I holding up, dawg?" Translation: "This is a right angle, loser." Luke Meh-nard is waggling his thumb somewhere out there in the audience in agreement. Our contestants had a lot to choose from since the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame opened its doors this week. So David Cook is going to pick at least one crappy song that can rival his Our Lady of Peace performance, Syesha's going to try and belt a diva song (Gladys Knight? Martha and the Vendellas?), and Castro will hopefully pick something laid back and folksy. Although I would pay to see him attempt some Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five. Funnily enough, they're playing KISS' "Rock and Roll All Nite" during this Rock and Roll Hall of Fame montage but KISS isn't an inductee (which doesn't make any sense, right?) and fans cr...

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American Idol, The Hills

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