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American Idol: Tapdancing Penguins: 1, Syesha: 0

Posted May 16th ago via TVgasm 
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Images and full post at TVgasm
I'm feeling irrationally, excessively emotional (fluctuating between depressed, elated, constipated, frantic, and resigned) so it must be that time of the month week again. Thanks for visiting me, American Idol! Cramps and bloating are a bitch. Seabreath proudly informs us that 56 million votes were cast this week. AI is almost recession-proof! Say every text message costs ten cents. That's $5,600,000 that could've gone to things like, oh, I don't know, helping the cyclone victims of Myanmar, rescuing schoolchildren buried under the rubble of their own classrooms in China, or Haitians who are forced to stave off hunger pangs with mud cookies (dried yellow mud, salt, and vegetable shortening) from the lack of food and supplies. Yes, they are literally eating dirt. But now the clay and mud used for the cookies is going up in price because of the rampant demand for it, which means Haitians can't even afford dirt! All that's left is for Haiti to export the one thing that their people can sort of afford to eat, to countries rabid for low calorie, low carb snacks. A place like America. Just saying I wish we could translate such avid, passionate mobilization into something like domestic and foreign relief. Hell, 56 million boxes of Girl Scout Thin Mints in aid would be way better than gritty mud cookies, people. Is it wrong for a cookie to say "I'm starving"? All kidding aside, you can donate directly to aid those in Myanmar, China, and Haiti right here, through Causes. Okay, getting off my soapbox, which is actually a box filled with delicious cookies (Snickerdoodles, in fact). Flipit and I not the only ones feeling show fatigue, as Seacrest talks about how the entire staff is excited to get shitfaced after (or perhaps during, considering some of the really random camera work and angles we've seen lately) the season finale next week...

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