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And America's Next Top Model Is...

Posted May 16th ago via TVgasm 
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Images and full post at TVgasm
And then there were three! It's time to figure out who's gonna win America's Next Top Model! Will it be Somalian refugee Fatima who's lived quite the hard knock life? Or will it be Angles! Angles! Angles! Anya ? Or Miss I'm-here-and-I'm-me-and-I'm-not-gonna-change-for-you Whitney? We're about to find out... Finaaaaaaaleeeeee! Our final three ladies head back to the apartment after last week's panel. I forgot how slow things get when there's so few girls left in the running. We get voiceovers of how badly every girl wants to win and how much she thinks she deserves it. Fatima explains how she's always struggled with her self-esteem which, hey, coulda fooled me with all the everyone-else-thinks-they-are-better-than-me-but-that's-just-poppycock-because-I-am-the-bestest talk. Over potato preparation in the kitchen - Anya, curl those fingers under like Tyra taught you! European ERs are a joke! - Whit confides to Anya about how she's just tickled that the two of them have become such good friends. No reaction from Anya. I can't help but wonder if this supposed BFFship is a one-way catwalk. Mona Tyra Mail comes with a warning this week: "Here are your lines. You've got some extra time. So don't make me put you on blast!" What is this, a telegram? Should I insert a STOP after every sentence? I bet an Italian production assistant was behind this because it sort of looks like a failed haiku to me. Words, I try to rhyme I confuse-uh the English? Ciao, bellisima! Anya's flustered because her last attempt bombed. Whitney's relieved that this go-round, the commercial's in English. Booo! I want more "BRASILIA!" commercials, dammit! Although, I suppose they would be lackluster because Whitney's seems to have a better handle on her tendency towards all things pageantry and we've said arrivederci to Lauren and Dominique, proud co-bombers of Italian Cover Girl commercial, take...

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