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Shear Genius: Oshun's Away!

Posted June 26th ago via The Recapist 
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Images and full post at The Recapist
Hallo! And welcome to our recap of Shear Genius! Never has there been so much hair bitchery in one place! Prepare yourself for flat iron duels, shampoo girl catfights, and the gorgeous Jacklyn Smith! It's Season 2 and it's on now! All of the contestants this year have some coiffs that symbolize emotional difficulties, and there's a man named "Oshun". This is love. The hair burners meet with Jacklyn Smith. She might have a stretched face, but she is the ultimate in comfortable glamour. Seriously, I just want to roll in her creations at K-Mart. I'll come out with an inexpensive off the shoulder blouse made of rayon but it will totally be worth it. Daniel is 28, and he specializes in "Dallas" hair. Like, on the primetime soap of yesteryear? Ok. Paulo, 37, looks like the gay son of Nick Mars from Motley Crue and he had a crush on Jacklyn when he was 7. Who didn't? He has one of those bullrings in his nose which makes me think of how he handles having a cold. He needs to get voted off so I don't have to look at it all season long. Kim  Vo is this freaky bitch who is responsible for Britney's weaves. Who would admit that? Is he a "don't"? Vo has lips like worms and he's sorta freaking me out with his dead smile. Jacklyn better watch out, he'll probably try and take her scalp. He's one of the other judges. Glenn is 35, and she's from Alabama. She seems downhome and her chin is crumbling. Say hi to Glenn, everyone. Oshun is 31, and he's got the potion for the motion when he touches your hair. That name alone should garner you the win, dude. And then your slick rhymes should your ass the MVP. He was nominated for an Emmy? Theo from Cosby, is that you, girl? Charlie Price will be our problem child this go-round. He doesn't "give a f*ck" whether the other contestants like him or not. Oh, here we go. Reality douche #3...

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