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'The Office': Michael Scott, the last honest man
Posted 13h ago via It Happened Last Night
Well now. Thursday's "Office" presented what could be a very interesting direction for the show. Namely: What happens when Michael Scott becomes disillusioned with Dunder Mifflin?Given his celebratory mood after being able to score the limo for the ride back to...Read more
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THE OFFICE: And The Oscar Goes To…
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Subtle Sexuality
Posted 3w ago by saucybetty

If you haven't checked this out already, you should. It's hilarious. ...Read or Reply
Pam & Jim's Wedding Episode
Posted Oct 8, 09 by megan

I'm pretty excited for this episode tonight. The whole gang, at a wedding? ...Read or Reply
Scoring starts tonight - Pick your team
Posted Sep 24, 09 by megan

Make sure to pick your Office team before tonight's episode! ...Read or Reply

Jim knows how to get to Dwights heart.

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Days until episode:

511 Scott's Tots

Thursday November 26th, 2009

The kids won't be all right. Michael must inform a group of children that he can't fulfill a promise he made to them 10...

Ryan says...
"Hey you, you should put him in custardy"
Creed says...
""Swing low, sweet chariots." "
Dwight says...
"The eyes are the groin of the face."
Stanley says...
"I don't normally enjoy the theatre but this is delightful"
in 424 Company Picnic
- Dwight: Are you calling me an idiot?
- Michael: Idiot.
- Dwight: Don't you ever talk to me that way. You pathetic short, little man. You don't have any friends, you don't have any family, or any land!
- More on this quote
- Michael: We think a lot alike, sometimes you will think something and I will say what youre thinking.
- Dwight: Ok, what am I thinking right now?
- Michael: Nacho chips?
- Dwight: No! I'm thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body!
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"It squeaks when you bang it..."That's what she said!" (In reference to the plastic gavel they used at the auction)."
in 404 Crime Aid
- Dwight: This was merely a training exercise. So, what have we learned?Ohh cmon, it's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
- Michael: (rushing to Stanley's aid) No no no do not die! Stanley, Stanley, you will not die! Stanley! Stanley!Barack is President! You are Black, Stanley!
- More on this quote
- Kelly: Dwight, get out of my nook!
- Pam: That's what she said! That's what she said! That's what she said!
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they are very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."
in 413 Stress Relief
Kelly says...
"Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"
Pam says...
"About 40 times a year Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."
- Michael: What's your dentist's name?
- Dwight: Crentist.
- Michael: That sounds an awful lot like dentist.
- Dwight: Maybe that's why he became one!
- More on this quote
Jan says...
"Don't smell me, Michael."
Kevin says...
"Women be shoppin'!"
Michael says...
"My philosophy is…basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where or who or who you are with, or where you are going. Or where you been. Ever. For any reason, what so ever."
in 411 The Duel
Dwight says...
"micheal always says K-I-S-S keep it simple stupid. great advice, hurts my feeling every time."
Dwight says...
""i LOVE catching people in the act. That's why i always whip open doors.""
in 408 Frame Toby
Oscar says...
""Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.""
Jim says...
""Their bread is VERY good!""
Dwight says...
"Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Cause if so, you've succeeded... it's a good thing my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man."
in 414 Lecture Circuit
Ryan says...
"(talking about stanley) I'm very flattered. I was his first choice after "pass"."
- Pam: And then outta that cake pops another stripper holding a smaller cake and then an even smaller stripper pops outta that one.
- Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
- Pam: A cupcake! It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.
- More on this quote
Pam says...
"I have a chainsaw!!!"
in 414 Lecture Circuit Part 2
Ryan says...
"How's my favorite office?!"
- Michael: What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
- Stanley: Chocolate.
- Michael: Racism is dead, Stanley!
- More on this quote
- Angela: Here is the boy's name...Chevey.
- Michael: That was all me!
- Angela: And the girl...Asturd.
- Meredith: As-turd?
- Michael: Jan says it is the name of a viking princess.
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"Dinkin' flicka."
Phyllis says...
"I wonder what they like about me... probably my jugs."
in Season Premiere - Weight Loss
Michael says...
"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it is going, I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improve conversation. Impoversation."
in 411 The Duel
- Jim: Jim walks in dressed as dwight "question what type of bear is best?"
- Dwight: thats a ridiculous question-
- Jim: False, black bear
- Dwight: well thats debatable, there are basically two schools of thought-
- Jim: fact bears eat beats... bears beat battle star galactica!
- Dwight: bears don not- (surprised face) What.. what is going on what r u doing? well imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so i thank u
- Jim: (pulls out dwight bobble head)
- Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke jim! millions of families suffer every year!
- Jim: MICHEAL! (in the exact voice that dwight talks)
- Dwight: oh thats funny, MICHEAL!
- More on this quote
Meredith says...
""Have you ever had sirloin steak honey?""
Angela says...
""Stop it! I have a Fianc� i very much like.""
Michael says...
"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day. "
Dwight says...
"Playtime.. is.. OVER!!"
in 403 Baby Shower
- Andy: Umm, Phyllis, who's that?
- Phyllis: She's out of your league, Andy.
- Andy: For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful woman.
- Phyllis: Sexually?
- Andy: This conversation is over.
- More on this quote
Meredith says...
"I've had men fight over me before. Usually its over who gets to hold the camcorder."
in 411 The Duel
Pam says...
"Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access."
Ryan says...
"do i think micheal has ever done drugs? no. i don't think anyone would want to give micheal drugs."
- Dwight: Don�t you want to earn Shrute bucks?
- Stanley: No. In fact, I�ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
- Dwight: Dwight: What�s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
- Stanley: Same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
- More on this quote
Jim says...
"...Two-way petting zoo. You pet the animals, they pet you back."
in 417 New Boss
- Pam: Angela you have to put a stop to this right now!
- Angela: I will respect the results of the duel.
- Pam: Of course you will.
- Meredith: I call loser!
- More on this quote
Andy says...
"I want to move to Disney World with you."
in 404 Crime Aid
Kevin says...
"Hey... I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. SERIOUSLY, feel how sweaty my hand is... Are you on email? COOL. K. Bye."
in 415 Blood Drive
Stanley says...
"It is a quarter 'til 5 and I have begun to gather my things."
in 402 Business Ethics
Toby says...
"Michael is like a movie on a flight. You don't wanna watch it, but its something to look at. And when it's over, you're like, how much longer is this flight?"
in 418 Two Weeks
Jim says...
"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!"
in 403 Baby Shower
- Michael: Why do you have a diary?
- Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party."
in 423 Cafe Disco

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The Office

Love The Office? Pick your 3 favorite characters and compete in the Fantasy Game!

511 Scott's Tots

"Hey you, you should put him in custardy"

""Swing low, sweet chariots." "

"The eyes are the groin of the face."

"I don't normally enjoy the theatre but this is delightful"

"It squeaks when you bang it..."That's what she said!" (In reference to the plastic gavel they used at the auction)."

"I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they are very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."

"Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"

"About 40 times a year Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."

"Don't smell me, Michael."

"Women be shoppin'!"

"micheal always says K-I-S-S keep it simple stupid. great advice, hurts my feeling every time."

""i LOVE catching people in the act. That's why i always whip open doors.""

""Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.""

""Their bread is VERY good!""

"Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Cause if so, you've succeeded... it's a good thing my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man."

"(talking about stanley) I'm very flattered. I was his first choice after "pass"."

"I have a chainsaw!!!"

"How's my favorite office?!"

"Dinkin' flicka."

"I wonder what they like about me... probably my jugs."

"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it is going, I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improve conversation. Impoversation."

""Have you ever had sirloin steak honey?""

""Stop it! I have a Fianc� i very much like.""

"Playtime.. is.. OVER!!"

"I've had men fight over me before. Usually its over who gets to hold the camcorder."

"Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access."

"do i think micheal has ever done drugs? no. i don't think anyone would want to give micheal drugs."

"...Two-way petting zoo. You pet the animals, they pet you back."

"I want to move to Disney World with you."

"Hey... I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. SERIOUSLY, feel how sweaty my hand is... Are you on email? COOL. K. Bye."

"It is a quarter 'til 5 and I have begun to gather my things."

"Michael is like a movie on a flight. You don't wanna watch it, but its something to look at. And when it's over, you're like, how much longer is this flight?"

"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!"

"You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party."

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