IDOL THIRD TOP 12
3.3.09

Seacrest opens the show at the bottom of the contestant crowded stairs looking like there should be a white priest collar in his stiff black shirt. Do those collars have an actual name? I couldn’t find one online but I feel as if there should be some obscure word to describe them that I can use in my next game of Wordscraper.

Anyway, Ryan then runs up the stairs while the credits are running so that he can casually walk back down them on the re-entry. Very dramatic.

OOH, Simon has a brand new butt cut. Yummy.

Up first, is…

Von Smith – aka Osmond on Crack
22-year-old from Somewhere, MO
Sings “You’re All I Need to Get by” by Marvin Gaye

I am frightened by this song choice. Perhaps I am just frightened by Von. He’s definitely not yelling…but instead he’s kind of just weird and creepy. Man, he puts David Cook’s big mouth to shame. Though DC still wears the joker crown…and the Idol crown – so he’s got that going for him. It’s amusing that Von is more Osmond looking than that actual Osmond kid who auditioned. He’s OK. It’s apparent he has worked hard to tone down the annoyance, but he still annoys the hell out of me. If I’m being honest.

Von’s mom is having an O over that performance. Isn’t he the guy that Simon said, “I bet your parents LOVE it when you do that?” Apparently they do.

Randy thinks it was a hot performance and the way to kick off a show.

Kara says he is coming into his own.

Paula loves that he knows when to pull back and push forward. Yeah, we know how you love that Paula. Because Corey Clark told us. Awwwww, SNAP!

Von reminds Simon of Clay Aiken. Simon sez Von looks appalling but sings quite well.

Taylor Vaifanua - aka the girl who makes Seacrest look like a midget
17-year-old from Hurricane, UT
Sings “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keyes

I don’t think that preggo looking dress is the best look for her…and I don’t think this is the best song choice for her. I find myself comparing her to Miss Keyes and she’s failing miserably. WOW! Is this chick really 17? What are they feeding kids these days? She’s not bad – but she’s not great.

Cut to shot of her family looking completely bored. Yikes.

Kara says it is obvious she has a voice. She says Taylor had some issues but she’s got talent…and she wants to know what it’s like to go shopping with her. HUH? Did Kara swallow some of Paula’s nonsense pills?

P says she has a beautiful instrument but she wishes Tay would have taken a chance.

Simon doesn’t get the shopping thing. LOL! And that’s why I love me some Simon.

Kara explains that she just wants to know what Taylor is like. So, Simon asks what breakfast cereal she likes.

Simon says his problem is that Taylor is not memorable. He calls the performance not terrible but very bland and generic. I guess she likes that President’s Choice cereal.

Randy is cut off by the music. Note to producers – there are unnecessarily four judges this season.

R Dog then agrees with both Kara and Simon saying that she didn’t tell them anything about herself and was boring.

Ryan’s mini me – oh, wait, that’s regularly sized Ryan - jumps in on the fun and tells Simon that shopping is where you can find shirts from this decade. Not the most grammatically correct insult, but a somewhat amusing one as is.


Alex Wagner-Trugman
19-year-old from Studio City, CA
Sings “I Guess that’s why they Call it the Blues” by Billy Joel

This guy is by far the dorkiest contestant this season…and the opening discussion about his dorky nature does nothing to make that endearing. Nor does his performance style. He’s trying to work the dork angle and, OMG, I want to punch him in the ovary – b/c there’s a pretty good chance he has one.
This is just awful – Sanjaya awful. Congrats Vote for the Worst! You have your new fave.

P Brain giggles about his showmanship and says she had fun watching him.

Simon sez, sure, we had fun watching him…but surely not listening to him. He says the performance was just stupid.

Randy half agrees with Simon. The vocals, dude…

Kara says, “At least you do you.” Don’t we all.

Arianna Afstar (4)
17-year-old from San Diego
Sings “The Winner Takes it All” by Abba

She has a nice tone to her voice – which, I guess, is why she has made it this far, right? She has played with the song’s arrangement to try and make her it own. And she’s very comfortable for a teen – which kind of reminds me of Jordan. She lost her pitch and cracked a couple times, but she was pretty good.

Simon thought there was a certain irony to the lyrics b/c, he says, it was absolutely terrible. He thinks the song was way too big for her and didn’t work at all. He calls it her worst performance by a clear mile.

Randy thought she tried to do more with it than was there

Kara says she was too serious and gloomy.

Paula thought there were bright moments to the song but it was a little old fashioned. She appreciated that she changed up the riffs and the melodies.

I actually agree with Paula on this one. Wowza.

Ju’not Joyner
26-year-old from MD
Sings “Hey There Delilah” by the Plain White Ts

I hate this song. At least he’s doing something dif with it. It’s actually a better arrangement than the original – but it’s a bit boring. He needs to strike it up or something. Not good – not bad. No pitch probs. It was a good performance but not fab.

Randy says it was cool that he took a well known song and switched it up(or something like that). He loved it.

Kara agrees with Randy(shocker!) and liked the spin he took on that song.

Paula blabbers about him changing it up and somehow takes credit for it. Whatevs.

Simon thought it was better than expected. It was little safe, but, he points out that he seemed nervous.

Ju’not talks about getting a Cortizone shot – right in his butt. That’s what Ryan calls TMPI, but the rest of us just call it TMI. You know how those LA folks are...Always making things bigger than they actually are.

Kristen McNamara
23-year-old from Napa Valley
Sings “Give me one Reason” by Tracy Chapman

Why is she dressed like Little Orphan Annie. Her snarl is dumb. Her growl is dumb. This performance is dumb. She’s trying to rock it up in a baby doll dress, pumps, and a lot of blond locks. She adds a high pitch “WOO” and sounds just like those people on the Carnival Cruise commercials. She is terrible. Simon needs to rip this B a new one. If he doesn’t, we are so breaking up.

Kara would like her more doing rock edge and singing a Kelly Clarkson joint.

Paula also makes reference to Kelly. Leave KC out of this! Why do they always feel the need to compare them to past Idols? P calls it a great vocal. And obviously Paula is back on crack.

Simon says it looks like her mum styled her for a pageant. He is puzzled b/c he thinks she has a good voice. That’s it. We’re on the outs again.

Randy says she tried to do too much with it and mentions Karaoke.

Nathanial Marshall
19-year-old from somewhere in NY
Sings “I Would do Anything for Love” by Meatloaf

He looks like Meatloaf and Elton John’s love child. Somebody please tell him this is not “Flashdance: The Musical.” And while you’re at it, tell him he’s a man. You know, I’m betting there’s not much Nathanial wouldn’t do for love. I’m just saying. This guy has gots to go.

Simon says, “I bet you would.” DUDE! We are so back on. He claims the minority might quite like that but the majority will find it excruciating. He says the performance was uncomfortable. Agreed. “But at least people will remember you,” he says.

Randy is curious about the song choice. Bi curious? He thinks N Dog can definitely sing but it’s hard to imagine what kind of record he could make.

Simon sez he could make a “keep fit” video.

Randy explains to the audience that Simon is caught up on the Elton John “Physical” headband thing – though I believe he meant to say Olivia Newton John. Not quite the same thing.

Kara says if he wants to be taken seriously he needs to show a more serious side. Good one Kara. Seriously.

Paula loves him and recollects on his Hollywood week “Disturbia” performance.

Simon calls Paula incredible for remembering yet another thing from the auditions. I guess I was wrong. She is off the crack.

Nate says if you want to have fun every week, sleep, I mean, vote for him.

Ryan then tries to put Nate’s headband over Simon’s butt head.

Felicia Barton – the girl who got a 2nd chance
26-year-old VA Beach
Sings “No one” by Alicia Keyes

She’s a pretty girl but this look is bad. That outfit makes her look bigger than she is – and no one knows about outfits that make you look bigger than you are like I do. It’s a bit slow…pitchy…and kind of amateur. Probably b/c she’s trying to sound like Alicia. Yeah, not so much. Her final note is strong though.

Paula talks about how gorgeous she is and says her talent is unbelievable. She is glad they brought her back and hopes she comes back again.

Simon thought the first half was better than second but calls the performance a bit copycat. He’s not as enthusiastic as Pauler is.

Randy thinks she has an amazing voice but she should have done something a bit different with this Alicia song.

Kara calls it by far her best look. She points out the few problem notes she had but thought she stepped into it.

Scott MacIntyre
23-year-old from Scottsdale, AZ
Sings “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby

He sings pretty enough but there is nothing that stands out about his voice for me. There’s really nothing bad I can say though. I wish he could play piano.

Randy says this wasn’t the most perfect vocal. He says he hit the big notes that he needed to hit and gives him props.

Kara says he moves mountains when he’s on stage. She wants American to see him play and sing.

Paula can’t wait for people to see his genius at the piano and calls him one of their finest.

Simon was not crazy about the song – particularly the lyrics. Scott is growing on Simon though. He says there are better singers but in a sea of forgettable people he is the only one Simon will remember and he will be amazed if Scott doesn’t sail through to the next round.

Scott gives Ryan a HIGH 5. AWESOME! That’s my HIGH light of the night.

Kendall Beard
24-year-old from Lufkin, TX – but lives in Austin
Sings “This ones for the girls”

Ya’ll know I hate when peeps sing country b/c it is easy to sing. Sorry Shell. I still think it’s easy to sing – which is why it’s the most popular Karaoke genre. She just started singing and I already know she’s in. She’s our first country girl and America loves them some country girls. Plus, she’s cute. And SUPER commercial. She needs to learn how to work a stage. This performance is lacking but it’s good enough to get by.

Kara says she picked the right style. She’s definitely a country girl..

Paula says she takes the prize for best outfit. Kendall says her Lufkin looking mom put it together. Paula thinks she did a good job and is adorable.

Simon thinks she did the right thing tonight. “You are what you are,” he says. “Cute. Country.” But half way through he couldn’t wait for it to end. He calls it “Shrilly.” But you know what? Martina can be shrilly too. He says, “Strange things happen on this show and a lot of people love this kind of stuff.” It’s not his cup of tea though.

Randy thought the song choice was good and she dialed into who she is. He did not think it was her best vocal though.

Jorge Nunez
21-year-old from Puerto Rico
Sings “Don’t Let the Sun go Down on Me”

I feel as if I should make reference to Nathanial song lyrics, but I will refrain. He has really toned down his style so that we can just focus on his voice. And his voice is beautiful. His outfit is good and he’s worked hard on his pronunciation. Good job. He’s my fave vocally tonight.

Paula is so overwhelmed that she doesn’t even realize it is her turn. She is so proud of him.

Simon says they were wrong to tell him not to sing with an accent. He says Jorge is a very good singer and should be who he is.

Randy says it’s the vocals that matter and this was really really good.

Kara says he was born to sing.

Jorge tears up, speaks Spanish and, in turn, earns even more votes.

Lil Rounds
24-year-old from Memphis
Sings “Be Without You” by Mary J

Great outfit. I like her because she isn’t over singing – and even Mary J can over sing. Wow. Now that’s what I call bootyliscious. She’s very professional and even though some may say you don’t F with Mary J, I think this was a strong performance.

Simon calls it brilliant. His favorite performance – but he probably would have picked a better song. He says she has great prospects and is, undoubtedly, one of the best so far in the competition.

Randy agrees. He says she is R&B, flavorable, current and she did not lose her swagger.

Kara calls her a powerhouse. “You. Are. Great.” she says.

Paula calls Lil first class and says that we will see her for many more lil rounds.


So that’s it. I thought tonight was pretty weak. My faves were Jorge and Lil. I dig Scott but I can’t decide if I actually dig his voice. Kendall should do well b/c she is cute and country. Ju’not wasn’t bad and I think the judges were a little rough on Arianna.

But as for my votes, they go to Lil, Jorge and Kendall(only for obvious reasons = ratings).