IDOL TOP 7 - Take 2
4.20.09

It’s disco night and before we even begin, I must say, this cannot be good.

Seacrest bounds down the steps, welcomes us and reminds us that last week, the judges’ save was “invoked.” What is this? “The Craft?” Let’s hope some of this gang can invoke the spirit tonight and actually give a good disco performance. I also hope Kara can invoke a decent critique. Not likely.

The judges are introduced and Kara attempts to invoke a personality by blowing multiple kisses to the audience. Can someone please inform her they are only clapping because the applause signs are on?

The top seven hit the stage and the night begins with…

Lil Rounds
24-year-old from Memphis
Sings “I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Khan

They cut the annoying intro bits. I guess this means they will fit the show into its slotted time period tonight. If you were a fan of the intro tape and disappointed they’ve been cut, please direct your comments to Kara Dioguardi.

Lil is looking more at ease on stage than she has in weeks. I am not sure about her voice, though, as she seems to be spending more time shouting to the crowd than actually singing. I am so ready for fat bottomed girl to go home.

Randy says, “Yo.” He thinks she got the party started but sounded “so wild.” She still didn’t show us what she can do, according to The Dog.

Kara thinks all of America has been waiting for her to sing Chaka Khan(or an artist like that). Shut up, Kara. That’s what America has really been waiting for.

In Lil’s defense, Paula points out that yesterday, Lil had no voice. She applauds her vocal recovery but doesn’t think Lil tapped into her inner goddess like Chaka Khan.

SCowell thinks this is the last week we’ll see Lil. Agreed.

Kris Allen
23-year-old from No Where, Arkansas
Sings “She Works Hard for the Money” by Donna Summer

He picked this song b/c it had something to say. “It’s actually about a woman,” he says. Deep thoughts.

The arrangement is totally original with Kris on guitar and the band including bongos and some slap board. Anybody know what that board is actually called? Anyway, I applaud his originality, but this is kinda lame. Isn’t disco supposed to be fun? His voice sounds good though.

OOH. Fear obviously crossed his face as he finished that last note. What will Simon say?

First, we hear from sKara who thinks he took a real risk with that arrangement. “It paid off big time, “she says. Enough said. But, of course, she continues to ramble on. OMG. She is SO annoying. This seriously is the reason they run over every week - she continues to say the same sentence in a different form over, and over, and over…

Paula thinks it had a classy Santana feeling and then talks about how not a lot of men would shop in the women’s department. As usual, she’s trying way too hard with her analogy.

Simon needs a translator to explain Paula’s comments, he says. He had no idea what she meant. He thinks the performance was original, well thought out and a complete opposite to Lil’s “karaoke” performance. Whether or not Kris buys ladies’ underwear, he thought it was fantastic.

Randy doesn’t care what Kris buys, he thinks he is ready for the big time.

Danny Gokey
28-year-old from Milwaukee – the oldest contestant
Sings “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire

Thank goodness he isn’t singing some sappy love song for his wife. He is trying his best to rock the stage…and he’s doing a decent job. But he’s no Adam Lambert. He sounds a bit shouty tonight. I think Danny still needs to work on his range – not vocally but style wise. He’s stellar with certain styles – but it’s a struggle to do the upbeat, funky, pop style stuff. And let’s be honest, pop is what most 19 artists are about.

Check it. Randy was worried about him but thinks he turned this song into something that really worked for him.

Kara was worried about him too. Shocker! She calls it another solid performance.

Paula loves his voice b/c he always takes it one step higher. As a woman, she thinks he has one of the sexiest voices. Watch it, Paula. He’s still wearing the ring.

Simon pretty much agreed with what everyone said. He can’t fault the vocals, but as a performance, he didn’t really get any star power from it. He found it a bit awkward and clumsy. I love Simon.

Allison Iraheta
16-year-old from LA, CA – the youngest finalist
Sings “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer

The stage doors slide open to reveal Allison draped on the steps like a Puma. Or in Paula’s case, a Cougar. She sexily rasps the opening lyrics, then saunters to center stage, looking totally awkward in her lycra pants and extremely high heels. Seriously. Who is styling this child? She sounds a bit shouty/ screechy tonight as well. But then again, disco isn’t the most melodic nor best sounding stuff now is it?

Randy says, “Yo.” He’s got two things – he thought the arrangement was a little over indulgent. But, hang on, he thinks she is one of the best singers in this competition.

Guess what Kara says? She agrees with Randy.

Cougar lady says Allison doesn’t compromise, talks about authenticity…and says some other shite as well. I’m with Simon, who looks completely amused by yet another random rant.

Simon thinks Al is the underdog but that this was a brilliant performance.

Adam Lambert
27-year-old from Hollywood
Sings “If I Can’t Have You” by the Bee Gees

Unlike everyone else tonight, Adam(who some could say is usually pretty screechy) is quite understated and not at all manic. OK, there was a little over the top moment in the middle, there. But he still sounds great. This is yet another original arrangement/performance from the front runner. And one that brought Paula to tears.

Randy says he is ready right now! Adam has it “majorly going on” and “is a hot one tonight, America!”

Kara says he is brilliant. She doesn’t know what else to say. Yet she continues to say more things.

Paula has never questioned her “visceral” response when she sees Adam perform. She thinks he is awesome, brilliant, fascinating and “will be in the finals.” You want to know what’s really funny? One of the definitions of visceral is “not intellectual.” Yeah, that sums her up.

Simon loved that it was original and, most importantly, memorable.

Matt Giraud
The 23-year-old dueling piano player from Kalamazoo, MI
Sings "Staying Alive”

Matt is definitely not staying alive. All this originality tonight, and then we are forced to watch this knock off Jason Mraz/ Blake Lewis/ JT wannabe? Get ready to use your walk…because you are headed home.

Randy says, “Yo.” Check it out, dog. He didn’t love the song choice or the arrangement. He thinks Matt can really sing though.

Paula thinks Matt picks songs like she bowls. Sometimes you get gutter balls and sometimes you get strikes. This, she says, was a strike.

Simon is sorry to put a damper on things but he did not like the performance. He says Matt needs to get out of Idol land and step into the real world. He didn’t think the vocals were great and heard no originality. And, I still love Simon.

Did I forget Kara? That’s b/c I don’t care.

Anoop Desai
23-year-old from Chapel Hill, NC
Sings “Dim the Lights”

EWWWW. Anoop the Poop is sporting the half stache. Icky. I don’t like the way he looks, but I do like his voice. He definitely still needs to work on his style – both performance and personal. YIKES. That was one AWFUL sounding note near the end there – and Anoop knows it. He reacts like he shot a total air ball…or, in Paula’s analogy riddled world, a gutter ball.

Randy says, “Yo” He points out the rough note and says he didn’t like the song choice but still thought it was “nice, baby, nice.”

Kara (GASP) disagrees with Randy. She thought it was a great song choice.

Paula thinks his look and his “growth(as in facial)” are fantastic. Not surprising that a Cougar would dig the half stache. She believes he did a good job.

Simon completely disagrees with the gang and calls it “mediocre at best.” In his opinion, this was Anoop’s worst performance by a mile.

SO, two people are on the outs. Who’s it going to be?