American Idol Review
5.12.09

Top 3

The show begins and not only is Adam Lambert in the spotlight, but Danny and Kris are as well. Will Katherine(the moderator of FOX 7's Idol Chat) hate it quite as much if they all get to do it?

As the opening credits roll, I must tell you that I got a new laptop. It's teeny tiny and I love it.

OK. On to the show. The chick from Lie to Me is in the audience. You'd think they'd have someone from Fringe there to focus on since the finale is tonight. What do I know? I only work in promotion.

Ryan tells us we are down to the three amigos and then intros the judges, who are, unfortunately, not able to be called the three amigos due to that extra baggage seated between Randy and Paula. Boo.

The top three hit the stage and Kris Allen looks awkward and out of place between the other two heavy weights. He seriously looks as if he believes he doesn't belong there. I believe he is right. Allison was robbed!

First up, we head to Danny Gokey's hometown of Milwaukee and learn that Danny is singing Paula's song choice, “Dance Little Sister” by Terrence Trent Darby.

He looks like he's constipated - I mean, concentrating. This is a terrible song choice for him. This is so not good. AND, this is the first time that I will admit Danny MAYBE should have gone home last week. Allison was robbed!

Randy says, “Let the games begin.” He then refers to this as the way to jump it off tonight and calls the performance “dope.”

Dead weight likes that Paula picked this song b/c it keeps Danny in his “money spot.” She did not like the gyrating dancing though and she isn't sure she will remember the performance tomorrow. What's HER name again?

Paula is a choreographer and she thinks he did really good...fantastic even.

Simon thinks the dancing was a bit desperate but his biggest problem was the toy sax solo in the middle. He apparently liked it – though he didn't say so in so many words. He does, however, think it was the wrong song choice.

Next, we head to Arkansas to learn that Kris' first song was chosen by Randy(they list Kara's name as well, but let's be honest, she just parrots whatever Randy says). He is singing “Apologize” by One Republic.

Kris is on piano tonight and his face is in full force Mayer mode. He is sliding to the notes and it's killing my ears. His tone is inconsistent. This is karaoke for me...very amateur. I am so not loving tonight so far. Alison was robbed!

Randy rambles and doesn't give much of a critique.

The bane of my existence says it was a really confident performance but she thinks Kris didn't hit it out of the park. She says he should take more chances by doing something like playing accoustic guitar. 'Cause nothing says “guts” like something you've done before. God, I hate her.

Princess P heard a loud bum note but she is so proud of Kris. She says all three of them are worthy of the top two spots. Based on that non-critique, I'd say Paula is fibbing.

Simon calls what Kara said a “cop out.” He tells her that she can't choose a song for someone and then blame them for doing the song. Note to Simon: Randy chose the song. He says it was a competent version of the original but not quite as good.

Argument between Simon and Kara/Randy ensues b/c Simon says they should have worked out the arrangement for Kris. Randy claims he didn't know they were allowed. C'mon guys, we all know the show is steered by the judges and producers. Don't act like the contestants make the decisions themselves.

Seacrest asks Kris how Simon's criticism has affected him. Kris responds that he is always going to say who he is. Really? I don't remember Kris saying much the entire season.

Kara is covering Simon's mouth. Ewww. Cooties.

The Kardashians are there. I wonder why? Oh, yeah. Ryan produces their trainwreck of a “reality” show.

San Diego native Adam is singing Simon's choice, “One” by U2. Simon brags about how he got permission from Bono himself to use this song. Simon and Bono sitting in a tree...

Dark stage. Uh oh. KK is cringing and possibly screaming at the screen. Adam is starting out very soft and understated. He sounds great, of course. Paula apparently has ants in her pants that make her want to dance b/c she is bouncing on her booty. Adam is picking it up now. He's a little screechy... I ain't gonna lie. He's doing a different twist/ arrangement with the song. I guess that was Simon's idea.

I didn't love it, but at least it wasn't boring.

Randy says, “Yo. Dude.” He then says Adam is definitely still in the zone and calls him one of the hottest three in this competition. That was such a stupid Kara thing the say. There are three contestants. Of course he's one of the three hottest. The Dawg doesn't know if he loved it. Simon boos. But, he calls Adam “really, really talented.”

What's her name calls him “an amazing strategist.” She calls the arrangement original and unbelievable and then says, “See what I mean Simon?” Of course he does. Simon already insinuated that he chose the arrangement. She is an idiot.

Paula says sitting next to a gloating Simon is miserable. “It was one brilliant song, one superb performance and one American Idol that I am staring at right now,” she says.

The bloater – I mean, gloater, thought it was a BRILLIANT song choice and brilliant, brilliant performance. He says that if Adam is not in the finals it will be one of the greatest upsets.

Gokey is up again. This time he is singing “You are So Beautiful” by Joe Cocker. $100 says he's singing it for his wife.

It's a very soft arrangement and feels like typical Gokey. He is on pitch, on key but he's off the radar.
I'm so fricking bored. Alison was robbed!

Randy says, “Yo. Check it out.” He calls the song amazing and he loved that DG showed he can really X 3 sing. “Mad vocals,” he says.

WOS(waste of space) calls it “stunning,” She says there is nothing else to say...and then adds an “amazing.” Idiot.

PA says that by changing the chord structure and infusing the gospel and R&B into it, he nailed it.

Simon would not have done that arrangement but he would call that a “vocal masterclass.” What's the difference between a “vocal masterclass” and a “vocal masterpiece?” Oh, I know. One is the absolutely wrong term. Guess which one.

Kris Allen is up next singing “Heartless” by Kanye West. MAN, he must have a genius idea about an original idea for this song b/c if not, this is pure suicide.

He's on accoustic guitar – which is funny since judge #4 suggested that “original” concept last time around. Why must the top three always include a contestant who is so completely average? He is 120 percent lame. Alison was robbed!

Randy thinks this is going to be one of the toughest voting nights of the whole year. He liked this version better that the Fray's and Kanye's version. Randy is off his rocker. And, btw, he better stay out of dark alleys. Kanye is going to murder him.

Her Obnoxiousness gives him kudos, calls it perfect and asks why he didn't do that with “Apologize?” Ummmmm, because he was planning to do it with “Heartless?”

Paula calls him the bravest artist for singing a song about Scowell. She commends him and says, “bravo.”

Simon sez that after that first lame song choice he had written Kris off. But that all changed after this performance.

I am so not on board with the judges tonight. I think they must act like all three are superb to validate that the show is on par. But I'm not so sure it is.

Finally, Adam Lambert sings “Cryin” by Aerosmith.

I already know Cruz(my co-host of FOX 7's Idol Chat) thinks this is garbage b/c he text me. And, I must say, I agree. This may well be Adam's worst performance of the season. He's yelling. He's screeching. He is not wowing me at all.

Randy thinks he is one of the best they have ever had on the stage. He loved this even more than “One.” I am so hating Randy tonight.

Speaking of garbage, Kara thought it was amazing and she says, “We'll see you at the finals.”

Paula claims that if Steven Tyler were a mentor, he would not have anything to say. She mentions something about flying high -and as we all know, nobody knows more about flying high than Paula. Though she has never had a drink in her life. Uh, huh.

SC is not going to suck up as much as the other three b/c, he says, it's very easy to assume Adam is going to sail through to the finals. Instead, he says, the show is about finding a star who has earned the right to be in the final and he thinks Adam deserves it.

Well, I thought tonight sucked. That's no secret is it? I also think it's no secret who I think needs to go. And finally, it is no secret that many, many of you will disagree with me...so go for it.