As Jack begins to build a relationship with his biological father, Milton’s (Alan Alda) health hangs in the balance. Despite Liz’s relationship track record, she draws public attention as a relationship expert after a talk show appearance. Meanwhile, Tracy’s high school invites him to speak at graduation and Kenneth must help him overcome embarrassing memories from his high school experience. Also appearing in the season finale are Clay Aiken, Mary J. Blige(!), Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow and Adam Levine(!)
Hmmm... don't know how all these guest stars will fit in the episode.
Will Jack give his dad(?) his kidney?
"I have a betting system based on horse penis size."
Jack says...
"I don't like the timing of this at all. Colleen is very vulnerable right now and scam artists can smell that sort of thing. Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. Its America's Australia."
Liz says...
"[Holding a broken lego train] Sorry, I broke it when I was pretending it was my penis. ROBOT PENIS."
Liz says...
"I wanna shoop."
Jack says...
"The closest I came to throwing up tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter's shoulder blades."
Frank: The overweight guy they based Pac-Man on just died
Tracy: I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
Tracy: Ken, these interns are wearing me out! It's like I said in my not-hit comedy Clue's Boat, 'I'm getting too old for this ship.'
Kenneth: Well you are getting older sir, there's no reason you have to keep acting like you're 20.
Tracy: Yes there is! Do you know what happens to a comedian when he gets old and loses his audience? He starts get offered serious roles. And do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?
Kenneth: No - that would be terrible! You leave him alone!
Tracy: Exactly! So if I'm going to keep my hiliairous reputation, these interns gotta go!
"Bonus means extra. I know that. From game shows."
Kenneth says...
"Oh no, what if he doesn't come back? [Southern accent] Oh no when I get upset my accent come out and when it git to comin out, i can't git to talkin nu-uh"
Liz says...
"[singing] Workin on my 'Night Cheese'..."
Liz: You're no longer allowed to point at women in the cafeteria and yell 'I want to get that pregnant'.
"[In confession] You wanna a confession? Let's get this done so I can go eat. I am divorced, I take the lord's name in vein, often, and with great relish. I hit my mother with a car, possibly by accident. I looked the other way when my wig-based parent company turned a bunch of children orange. I once claimed I am God... during a deposition. Annnnd, I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons grade narcotics."
Liz: Tracy, are you ready for Larry King Live tonight?
Tracy: You know it, I cursed for three hours straight just to get it outta my system..., you dumb bitch!
"If you have a spaceship and you're looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and 30 million dollars, I am prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow. I wrote that yesterday."
Jack: I disagree. I'm going to find out what was inside that box, I'm going to buy it with money, and it is going to make me happy. And, if that doesn't work - I'm going to Benjamin Button myself.
"[into the mirror]
Alright Jack, Bottom of the ninth, baaaases loaded. Just Do it! Is it in you! I'm loving it! You magnificent son of a bitch!
You're Jack Donaghy; titan, maverick,... lover."
Jack: Well, if you want a good "liz" read this... A list I made in the 5th grade of things I wanted to have done before I turned 50. Live in a house with stairs, beat up a Russian, hit mom with a car. I wonder what that 10-year old would think if he could see himself now. Fly on a plane? I've flown on Air Force One. Go to DisneyLand? Lemon, I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands.
Liz: That's... awesome.
Jack: I've hunted the world's most dangerous game... Man. [cough] Manatee. I once, uh, shot a Manatee.
Liz: Well, if that kid could see himself today, he would throw up. There's only one left Be friends with Batman
Jack: Imagine a dessert for two, Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream in a pool of Cognac, drizzled in the world's most expensive chocolate, covered in shaved white, black and clear truffles and topped with edible 25 carat gold leaf. Can you imagine anything better?
Liz: I dunno... have you ever put a doughnut in the microwave?
Hmmm... don't know how all these guest stars will fit in the episode.
Will Jack give his dad(?) his kidney?
WATCH TONIGHT!