"Hey... I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. SERIOUSLY, feel how sweaty my hand is... Are you on email? COOL. K. Bye."
"My philosophy is…basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where or who or who you are with, or where you are going. Or where you been. Ever. For any reason, what so ever."
"Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access."
Ryan says...
"How's my favorite office?!"
Dwight says...
"The eyes are the groin of the face."
Jim says...
"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!"
"do i think micheal has ever done drugs? no. i don't think anyone would want to give micheal drugs."
Toby says...
"Michael is like a movie on a flight. You don't wanna watch it, but its something to look at. And when it's over, you're like, how much longer is this flight?"
Dwight: This was merely a training exercise. So, what have we learned?Ohh cmon, it's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael: (rushing to Stanley's aid) No no no do not die! Stanley, Stanley, you will not die! Stanley! Stanley!Barack is President! You are Black, Stanley!
"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day. "
Michael says...
"I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they are very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."
"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it is going, I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improve conversation. Impoversation."
Hip hip horray, or are you more excited for 30 rock? (I am !)