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Office Premiere Thursday - No Scoring

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Posted September 16th, 2009 by megan

It's back!

Hip hip horray, or are you more excited for 30 rock? (I am !)
# ↑

Posted September 24th, 2009 by whitemystery259

Oscars the voice of the Taco Bell dog?

haha

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Andy
Angela
Charles
Creed
Darryl
David
Dwight
Erin

Show All Cast

Days until episode:

511 Scott's Tots

Thursday November 26th, 2009

The kids won't be all right. Michael must inform a group of children that he can't fulfill a promise he made to them 10...

Pam says...
"I have a chainsaw!!!"
in 414 Lecture Circuit Part 2
Kevin says...
"Hey... I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. SERIOUSLY, feel how sweaty my hand is... Are you on email? COOL. K. Bye."
in 415 Blood Drive
Angela says...
""Stop it! I have a Fianc� i very much like.""
- Pam: And then outta that cake pops another stripper holding a smaller cake and then an even smaller stripper pops outta that one.
- Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
- Pam: A cupcake! It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"My philosophy is…basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where or who or who you are with, or where you are going. Or where you been. Ever. For any reason, what so ever."
in 411 The Duel
- Michael: We think a lot alike, sometimes you will think something and I will say what youre thinking.
- Dwight: Ok, what am I thinking right now?
- Michael: Nacho chips?
- Dwight: No! I'm thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body!
- More on this quote
Pam says...
"Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access."
Ryan says...
"How's my favorite office?!"
Dwight says...
"The eyes are the groin of the face."
Jim says...
"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!"
in 403 Baby Shower
- Michael: What's your dentist's name?
- Dwight: Crentist.
- Michael: That sounds an awful lot like dentist.
- Dwight: Maybe that's why he became one!
- More on this quote
Ryan says...
"do i think micheal has ever done drugs? no. i don't think anyone would want to give micheal drugs."
Toby says...
"Michael is like a movie on a flight. You don't wanna watch it, but its something to look at. And when it's over, you're like, how much longer is this flight?"
in 418 Two Weeks
Oscar says...
""Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.""
- Jim: Jim walks in dressed as dwight "question what type of bear is best?"
- Dwight: thats a ridiculous question-
- Jim: False, black bear
- Dwight: well thats debatable, there are basically two schools of thought-
- Jim: fact bears eat beats... bears beat battle star galactica!
- Dwight: bears don not- (surprised face) What.. what is going on what r u doing? well imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so i thank u
- Jim: (pulls out dwight bobble head)
- Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke jim! millions of families suffer every year!
- Jim: MICHEAL! (in the exact voice that dwight talks)
- Dwight: oh thats funny, MICHEAL!
- More on this quote
Phyllis says...
"I wonder what they like about me... probably my jugs."
in Season Premiere - Weight Loss
Dwight says...
"micheal always says K-I-S-S keep it simple stupid. great advice, hurts my feeling every time."
Ryan says...
"Hey you, you should put him in custardy"
Kevin says...
"Women be shoppin'!"
- Dwight: Are you calling me an idiot?
- Michael: Idiot.
- Dwight: Don't you ever talk to me that way. You pathetic short, little man. You don't have any friends, you don't have any family, or any land!
- More on this quote
Jan says...
"Don't smell me, Michael."
Andy says...
"I want to move to Disney World with you."
in 404 Crime Aid
Jim says...
"...Two-way petting zoo. You pet the animals, they pet you back."
in 417 New Boss
Pam says...
"About 40 times a year Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."
Michael says...
"Dinkin' flicka."
Michael says...
"You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party."
in 423 Cafe Disco
Meredith says...
"I've had men fight over me before. Usually its over who gets to hold the camcorder."
in 411 The Duel
Creed says...
""Swing low, sweet chariots." "
- Dwight: This was merely a training exercise. So, what have we learned?Ohh cmon, it's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
- Michael: (rushing to Stanley's aid) No no no do not die! Stanley, Stanley, you will not die! Stanley! Stanley!Barack is President! You are Black, Stanley!
- More on this quote
Jim says...
""Their bread is VERY good!""
- Pam: Angela you have to put a stop to this right now!
- Angela: I will respect the results of the duel.
- Pam: Of course you will.
- Meredith: I call loser!
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"It squeaks when you bang it..."That's what she said!" (In reference to the plastic gavel they used at the auction)."
in 404 Crime Aid
Dwight says...
"Playtime.. is.. OVER!!"
in 403 Baby Shower
- Michael: What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
- Stanley: Chocolate.
- Michael: Racism is dead, Stanley!
- More on this quote
Meredith says...
""Have you ever had sirloin steak honey?""
Dwight says...
""i LOVE catching people in the act. That's why i always whip open doors.""
in 408 Frame Toby
Stanley says...
"It is a quarter 'til 5 and I have begun to gather my things."
in 402 Business Ethics
- Dwight: Don�t you want to earn Shrute bucks?
- Stanley: No. In fact, I�ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
- Dwight: Dwight: What�s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
- Stanley: Same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
- More on this quote
Dwight says...
"Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Cause if so, you've succeeded... it's a good thing my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man."
in 414 Lecture Circuit
Michael says...
"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day. "
Michael says...
"I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they are very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."
in 413 Stress Relief
- Kelly: Dwight, get out of my nook!
- Pam: That's what she said! That's what she said! That's what she said!
- More on this quote
- Angela: Here is the boy's name...Chevey.
- Michael: That was all me!
- Angela: And the girl...Asturd.
- Meredith: As-turd?
- Michael: Jan says it is the name of a viking princess.
- More on this quote
Stanley says...
"I don't normally enjoy the theatre but this is delightful"
in 424 Company Picnic
Ryan says...
"(talking about stanley) I'm very flattered. I was his first choice after "pass"."
- Andy: Umm, Phyllis, who's that?
- Phyllis: She's out of your league, Andy.
- Andy: For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful woman.
- Phyllis: Sexually?
- Andy: This conversation is over.
- More on this quote
Michael says...
"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it is going, I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improve conversation. Impoversation."
in 411 The Duel
Kelly says...
"Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"
- Michael: Why do you have a diary?
- Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.
- More on this quote

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Forums > TV > The Office

Office Premiere Thursday - No Scoring

"I have a chainsaw!!!"

"Hey... I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. SERIOUSLY, feel how sweaty my hand is... Are you on email? COOL. K. Bye."

""Stop it! I have a Fianc� i very much like.""

"Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access."

"How's my favorite office?!"

"The eyes are the groin of the face."

"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!"

"do i think micheal has ever done drugs? no. i don't think anyone would want to give micheal drugs."

"Michael is like a movie on a flight. You don't wanna watch it, but its something to look at. And when it's over, you're like, how much longer is this flight?"

""Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.""

"I wonder what they like about me... probably my jugs."

"micheal always says K-I-S-S keep it simple stupid. great advice, hurts my feeling every time."

"Hey you, you should put him in custardy"

"Women be shoppin'!"

"Don't smell me, Michael."

"I want to move to Disney World with you."

"...Two-way petting zoo. You pet the animals, they pet you back."

"About 40 times a year Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."

"Dinkin' flicka."

"You all took a life here today. You did. The life of the party."

"I've had men fight over me before. Usually its over who gets to hold the camcorder."

""Swing low, sweet chariots." "

""Their bread is VERY good!""

"It squeaks when you bang it..."That's what she said!" (In reference to the plastic gavel they used at the auction)."

"Playtime.. is.. OVER!!"

""Have you ever had sirloin steak honey?""

""i LOVE catching people in the act. That's why i always whip open doors.""

"It is a quarter 'til 5 and I have begun to gather my things."

"Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Cause if so, you've succeeded... it's a good thing my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man."

"I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they are very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."

"I don't normally enjoy the theatre but this is delightful"

"(talking about stanley) I'm very flattered. I was his first choice after "pass"."

"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it is going, I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improve conversation. Impoversation."

"Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"