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Posted 3 weeks ago by saucybetty -
Posted 3 weeks ago by ScottyMcNaughtyThat video is great. BJ Novak is hysetrical.
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Subtle Sexuality
Pam & Jim's Wedding Episode
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Days until episode:
511 Scott's Tots
Thursday November 26th, 2009
The kids won't be all right. Michael must inform a group of children that he can't fulfill a promise he made to them 10...
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Oscar says...
""Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.""
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Dwight: Are you calling me an idiot?
Michael: Idiot.
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Dwight: Don't you ever talk to me that way. You pathetic short, little man. You don't have any friends, you don't have any family, or any land!
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Michael says...
"My philosophy is…basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t, ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter where or who or who you are with, or where you are going. Or where you been. Ever. For any reason, what so ever."
in 411 The Duel
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Dwight: Don’t you want to earn Shrute bucks?
Stanley: No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.
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Dwight: Dwight: What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?
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Stanley: Same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.
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Dwight: This was merely a training exercise. So, what have we learned?Ohh cmon, it's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
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Michael: (rushing to Stanley's aid) No no no do not die! Stanley, Stanley, you will not die! Stanley! Stanley!Barack is President! You are Black, Stanley!
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Dwight says...
"The eyes are the groin of the face."
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Michael says...
"I can already feel people's stress starting to melt. I think they are very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."
in 413 Stress Relief
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Ryan says...
"do i think micheal has ever done drugs? no. i don't think anyone would want to give micheal drugs."
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Michael: What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?
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Stanley: Chocolate.
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Michael: Racism is dead, Stanley!
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Dwight says...
""i LOVE catching people in the act. That's why i always whip open doors.""
in 408 Frame Toby
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Ryan says...
"Hey you, you should put him in custardy"
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Michael says...
"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it is going, I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improve conversation. Impoversation."
in 411 The Duel
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Andy: Umm, Phyllis, who's that?
Phyllis: She's out of your league, Andy.
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Andy: For your information, I have been with lots of beautiful woman.
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Phyllis: Sexually?
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Andy: This conversation is over.
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Pam says...
"Ladies, are we prepared to let the Kevins of the world decide anything for us? Anything at all? We don't even give him full internet access."
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Pam: And then outta that cake pops another stripper holding a smaller cake and then an even smaller stripper pops outta that one.
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Michael: What is that smaller stripper holding?
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Pam: A cupcake! It's cupcakes and strippers all the way down.
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Ryan says...
"How's my favorite office?!"
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Kelly says...
"Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!"
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Michael says...
"It squeaks when you bang it..."That's what she said!" (In reference to the plastic gavel they used at the auction)."
in 404 Crime Aid
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Phyllis says...
"I wonder what they like about me... probably my jugs."
in Season Premiere - Weight Loss
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Angela: Here is the boy's name...Chevey.
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Michael: That was all me!
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Angela: And the girl...Asturd.
Meredith: As-turd?
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Michael: Jan says it is the name of a viking princess.
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Toby says...
"Michael is like a movie on a flight. You don't wanna watch it, but its something to look at. And when it's over, you're like, how much longer is this flight?"
in 418 Two Weeks
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Angela says...
""Stop it! I have a Fiancé i very much like.""
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Michael: We think a lot alike, sometimes you will think something and I will say what youre thinking.
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Dwight: Ok, what am I thinking right now?
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Michael: Nacho chips?
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Dwight: No! I'm thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body!
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Michael: What's your dentist's name?
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Dwight: Crentist.
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Michael: That sounds an awful lot like dentist.
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Dwight: Maybe that's why he became one!
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Dwight says...
"micheal always says K-I-S-S keep it simple stupid. great advice, hurts my feeling every time."
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Pam says...
"About 40 times a year Michael gets really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned."
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Kelly: Dwight, get out of my nook!
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Pam: That's what she said! That's what she said! That's what she said!
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Meredith says...
""Have you ever had sirloin steak honey?""
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Kevin says...
"Hey... I'm sorry we did not have a chance to talk more. I get very nervous talking to pretty girls. SERIOUSLY, feel how sweaty my hand is... Are you on email? COOL. K. Bye."
in 415 Blood Drive
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Jan says...
"Don't smell me, Michael."
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Michael says...
"I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me, it's the perfect way to start the day. "
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Jim says...
"Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now this baby will be related to Michael through...delusion!"
in 403 Baby Shower
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Creed says...
""Swing low, sweet chariots." "
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Dwight says...
"Are you trying to hurt my feelings? Cause if so, you've succeeded... it's a good thing my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man."
in 414 Lecture Circuit
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Ryan says...
"(talking about stanley) I'm very flattered. I was his first choice after "pass"."
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Jim says...
""Their bread is VERY good!""
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Meredith says...
"I've had men fight over me before. Usually its over who gets to hold the camcorder."
in 411 The Duel
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Kevin says...
"Women be shoppin'!"
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Michael: Why do you have a diary?
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Dwight: To keep secrets from my computer.
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Jim: Jim walks in dressed as dwight "question what type of bear is best?"
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Dwight: thats a ridiculous question-
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Jim: False, black bear
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Dwight: well thats debatable, there are basically two schools of thought-
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Jim: fact bears eat beats... bears beat battle star galactica!
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Dwight: bears don not- (surprised face) What.. what is going on what r u doing? well imitation is the most sincere form of flattery so i thank u
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Jim: (pulls out dwight bobble head)
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Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke jim! millions of families suffer every year!
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Jim: MICHEAL! (in the exact voice that dwight talks)
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Dwight: oh thats funny, MICHEAL!
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Michael says...
"Dinkin' flicka."
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Stanley says...
"It is a quarter 'til 5 and I have begun to gather my things."
in 402 Business Ethics
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Pam: Angela you have to put a stop to this right now!
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Angela: I will respect the results of the duel.
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Pam: Of course you will.
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Meredith: I call loser!
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If you haven't checked this out already, you should. It's hilarious.
My favorite part is the stuffed parrot that went with the rum from Puerto Rico Jim and Pam gave Michael on Erin's shoulder when they're dancing in the werehouse.