30 Rock

The Week We Went Rogue [Week In Review]
Posted 1d ago via Gawker
This week, everyone was naked and fighting in public and also there was a book no one read but everyone kept talking about. A pornography company offered a famous beauty contest loser lots of money to distribute video tapes they already possess of her masturbating....Read more
Tina Fey mocks NBC & Sarah Palin
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James Franco learns 'General Hospital' about more than hospitals
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Al Gore Makes Surprisingly Non-Wooden Appearance on "30 Rock" [30 Rock]
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PREPARING TO LIZ ALL OVER MYSELF
Posted Oct 15, 09 by Todd

30 Rock is back! I'm lizzing! I'm lizzing! Who's excited? ...Read or Reply
Finally, a 30 Rock Porn
Posted Aug 24, 09 by Todd

fafa_vid_placeholder1 i dunno if this embed skips to the end (like the ...Read or Reply
SEASON FINALE Tonight: Kidney Now!
Posted May 14, 09 by Piba_Natalie_FTW

As Jack begins to build a relationship with his biological father, Milton’s ...Read or Reply

Ah, Lemon.

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Jack loves himself, do you?

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Liz says...
"[singing] Workin on my 'Night Cheese'..."
- Liz: No, listen to me. She's not fun, she's just crazy. Like, grab a cop's gun crazy.
- Jack: Lemon, having known Claire for a very enjoyable 20 minutes and you for what feels like infinity, I'm going to go with Claire on this one.
- More on this quote
Elisa says...
"Lemon, isn’t there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?"
- Jenna: Let's see what kinda movies he has... Muppets Take Manhattan, Caddy Shack..., and a documentary about how pies are made...
- Liz: Hello Dr. Baird!
- More on this quote
- Liz: You want the truth Kenneth?!
- Kenneth: I can't handle the truth!
- Liz: There is an adult picture of me on that phone!
- Kenneth: Adult? You mean like driving a car or wearing a suit?
- Liz: Its a boobies picture, kenneth! And I only kept it because, for once, both pointing in the same direction!
- More on this quote
Jack says...
"[In confession] You wanna a confession? Let's get this done so I can go eat. I am divorced, I take the lord's name in vein, often, and with great relish. I hit my mother with a car, possibly by accident. I looked the other way when my wig-based parent company turned a bunch of children orange. I once claimed I am God... during a deposition. Annnnd, I may have sodomized our former Vice President while under the influence of some weapons grade narcotics."
Jenna says...
"Do you need a sex tap released? Because I got a weird one. It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me."
Jenna says...
"The Kids Choice Awards? Fine, I'll set aside my feud with Raven Symone for one day. BUT SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID."
- Jack: I disagree. I'm going to find out what was inside that box, I'm going to buy it with money, and it is going to make me happy. And, if that doesn't work - I'm going to Benjamin Button myself.
- Liz: We're not meeting in the middle!
- More on this quote
- Jack: Well, if you want a good "liz" read this... A list I made in the 5th grade of things I wanted to have done before I turned 50. Live in a house with stairs, beat up a Russian, hit mom with a car. I wonder what that 10-year old would think if he could see himself now. Fly on a plane? I've flown on Air Force One. Go to DisneyLand? Lemon, I've held Walt Disney's frozen head in my hands.
- Liz: That's... awesome.
- Jack: I've hunted the world's most dangerous game... Man. [cough] Manatee. I once, uh, shot a Manatee.
- Liz: Well, if that kid could see himself today, he would throw up. There's only one left Be friends with Batman
- Jack: There's still a couple hours...
- More on this quote
Tracy says...
"I'm scared, but I'm also excited! Hahaha, woooo! I'm Lizzing! Hahaha! Lizzing! I'm Lizzing! Yeah, haha!"
- Tracy: What is this, Horseville? Cause I'm surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!
- Liz: Ok, that is solid.
- More on this quote
- Jenna: Pete and Liz wanna hire this guy, Jaden. He's evil, Tracy!
- Tracy: He's EVIL TRACY!?... Oh... he's evil comma Tracy. Go on...
- More on this quote
- Jack: I want to Tupac you.
- Jenna: Fine, but I have to pee first.
- More on this quote
Kenneth says...
"Oh I cleaned up on my last birthday. Look at this keychain - every time you move his head... his head moves! Look!"
Tracy says...
"[picking up the phone at Ken's desk] NBC. blah blah blah, thank you. [click]"
Liz says...
"Nords!"
- Jack: Now lemme hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system
- Frank: My client has no memory of that.
- Jack: I also would have accepted You can't prove that's the governor's semen
- More on this quote
Kenneth says...
"Bonus means extra. I know that. From game shows."
Jack says...
"I have a betting system based on horse penis size."
- Tracy: Irregardless! Ya know what? [hands Liz yellow card] RACE CARD
- Pete: No no no no don't take it!
- More on this quote
- Jack: Hey - that scarf is fun!
- Liz: Thanks! I found it at Dunkin' --wait a minute...
- More on this quote
Jack says...
"The closest I came to throwing up tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter's shoulder blades."
- Jack: Kenneth, how much money do you have in your savings?
- Kenneth: Well, let's see. [looks in coffee can] Eighty thousand dollars!
- Jack: If you don't include Confederate money?
- Kenneth: Four thousand dollars!
- More on this quote
Liz says...
"[Holding a broken lego train] Sorry, I broke it when I was pretending it was my penis. ROBOT PENIS."
Kenneth says...
"Oh no, what if he doesn't come back? [Southern accent] Oh no when I get upset my accent come out and when it git to comin out, i can't git to talkin nu-uh"
Jack says...
"[into the mirror] Alright Jack, Bottom of the ninth, baaaases loaded. Just Do it! Is it in you! I'm loving it! You magnificent son of a bitch! You're Jack Donaghy; titan, maverick,... lover."
Tracy says...
"A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory."
Liz says...
"[Upon meeting Dr. Baird] I want to go to there."
- Jack: Don't cling to this Lemon.
- Liz: [In Jack voice] Be a manager. Control your people. Buy better clothes.
- Jack: I'm allowing this because I made a mistep and I'm handling it. Tracy will be here by Friday night.
- Liz: [In Jack/Batman voice] Just get it done. Nope. I lost it. That was Batman.
- More on this quote
- Frank: The overweight guy they based Pac-Man on just died
- Tracy: I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
- More on this quote
- Liz: Have you seen this Tracey thing?
- Jack: I am aware of it. I have a Google Alert for the phrase, "Tracey Jordan ridiculous disaster".
- More on this quote
Liz says...
"I wanna shoop."
- Tracy: Ken, these interns are wearing me out! It's like I said in my not-hit comedy Clue's Boat, 'I'm getting too old for this ship.'
- Kenneth: Well you are getting older sir, there's no reason you have to keep acting like you're 20.
- Tracy: Yes there is! Do you know what happens to a comedian when he gets old and loses his audience? He starts get offered serious roles. And do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?
- Kenneth: No - that would be terrible! You leave him alone!
- Tracy: Exactly! So if I'm going to keep my hiliairous reputation, these interns gotta go!
- More on this quote
- Jack: Imagine a dessert for two, Tahitian vanilla bean ice cream in a pool of Cognac, drizzled in the world's most expensive chocolate, covered in shaved white, black and clear truffles and topped with edible 25 carat gold leaf. Can you imagine anything better?
- Liz: I dunno... have you ever put a doughnut in the microwave?
- More on this quote
Tracy says...
"If you have a spaceship and you're looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and 30 million dollars, I am prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow. I wrote that yesterday."
Jack says...
"I have a lump on my ball."
Jack says...
"I didn't know what you were serving so I brought a '65 Moet and some pizza-blasted Pringles."
- Liz: Tracy, are you ready for Larry King Live tonight?
- Tracy: You know it, I cursed for three hours straight just to get it outta my system..., you dumb bitch!
- More on this quote
- Jack: Anyways, I'm handling the Tracy thing myself.
- Liz: Right, play hardball! Get your business jollies!
- More on this quote
Tracy says...
"Here comes the FunCooker!"
- Jenna: Where do I sign up?
- Dr. Spaceman: Oh please, we don't want a paper trail.
- More on this quote
- Dr. Spaceman: When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman’s mouth?
- Jack: (Puts lollipop into his mouth.)
- More on this quote
- Liz: You're no longer allowed to point at women in the cafeteria and yell 'I want to get that pregnant'.
- Tracy: Fine, I'll bring my lunch from home.
- More on this quote
Jack says...
"Be careful Lemon, you wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting peed on."
Jack says...
"I don't like the timing of this at all. Colleen is very vulnerable right now and scam artists can smell that sort of thing. Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. Its America's Australia."
Jack says...
"lemon, you're going to do this like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age."

Party, Love,and Tequi...
This group is ALL about Parting... Love... and most of all Tequilla!!! ...
Cougar Club
gals pals that want to have fun adn love the HILLS!!!!
Spazz'n Devils
I have no idea what this means, just going for Ms. Coi, Ms. Texas!!! So...

Hello!

30 Rock

"[singing] Workin on my 'Night Cheese'..."

"Lemon, isn’t there a Slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?"

"Do you need a sex tap released? Because I got a weird one. It's night vision and you can see that his buddy is robbing me."

"The Kids Choice Awards? Fine, I'll set aside my feud with Raven Symone for one day. BUT SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE DID."

"I'm scared, but I'm also excited! Hahaha, woooo! I'm Lizzing! Hahaha! Lizzing! I'm Lizzing! Yeah, haha!"

"Oh I cleaned up on my last birthday. Look at this keychain - every time you move his head... his head moves! Look!"

"[picking up the phone at Ken's desk] NBC. blah blah blah, thank you. [click]"

"Nords!"

"Bonus means extra. I know that. From game shows."

"I have a betting system based on horse penis size."

"The closest I came to throwing up tonight was when I saw Ann Coulter's shoulder blades."

"[Holding a broken lego train] Sorry, I broke it when I was pretending it was my penis. ROBOT PENIS."

"Oh no, what if he doesn't come back? [Southern accent] Oh no when I get upset my accent come out and when it git to comin out, i can't git to talkin nu-uh"

"[into the mirror] Alright Jack, Bottom of the ninth, baaaases loaded. Just Do it! Is it in you! I'm loving it! You magnificent son of a bitch! You're Jack Donaghy; titan, maverick,... lover."

"A book hasn't caused this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole factory."

"[Upon meeting Dr. Baird] I want to go to there."

"I wanna shoop."

"If you have a spaceship and you're looking for a hilarious astronaut with an irregular heartbeat and 30 million dollars, I am prepared to leave as soon as tomorrow. I wrote that yesterday."

"I have a lump on my ball."

"I didn't know what you were serving so I brought a '65 Moet and some pizza-blasted Pringles."

"Here comes the FunCooker!"

"Be careful Lemon, you wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting peed on."

"I don't like the timing of this at all. Colleen is very vulnerable right now and scam artists can smell that sort of thing. Have you ever been to Florida? It's basically a criminal population. Its America's Australia."

"lemon, you're going to do this like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age."

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