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Blair: None of these girls are even worth humiliating, looking in the mirror will do that for them
Chuck: For people like us, a college degree is just an accessory, like a Malawian baby or a poodle.
Erik: Chuck has a P.I. on his speed dial.
Serena: - comes walking out angrily -
- Erik: Oh God. I know that face. That face is not your friend.
- Chuck: I see you’re wearing your beret…who are you spying on tonight?
- Blair: Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist.
Includes Blair. - Blair: when the truth fails you, you have no choice but to abandone it.
Lily: Get your dirty package off the table!
- Chuck: If I had a nickel for every time I heard that...
Dan: who said this family wasn't cool
Includes Blair. - Blair: Blair: "Darota!"
Darota: "Yes miss Blair"
Blair: "Go get my dog back"
- Serena: There's always Princeton..
- Blair: Princeton is a trade school!!
- Blair: Remember, Serena doesn't share!
- Serena: Remember, Blair should learn too!
- Serena: long time no see
- Dan: yeah I missed u
- Blair: oh get over ur self
- Serena: long time no see
- Blair: Have fun in Providence, you know, maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there.
- Blair: [sees Nate and Catherine on the floor] Oh my effing God!
- Blair: Squash? I'll squash YOU.
- Chuck: It's just a game, Blair.
- Blair: Not to me, Basshole. I like him!
- Chuck: So do I. And apparently he doesn't have too many friends.
- Dan: I'm good with just one.
- Chuck: You're either in for the full ride, or you're out.
- Dan: [pauses] Okay, pass me the shots.
- Chuck: That's just a chaser.
- Dan: What is that?
- Chuck: Does it matter? Down the rabbit hole, then we go out the door.
- Blair: Don't ever go to high school, Dorota. The girls are spoiled, stupid and ungrateful! One snapshot with a socialite and it's all Serena, Serena, Serena!
- Dan: Who knew there was a sex club behind the White Castle?
- Blair: That little troll Vanessa's working my last nerve.
- Chuck: Not what I expected.
- Blair: Until I realized, this could benefit both of us.
Chuck: You had me until "troll."
- Chuck: You had me until "troll."
- Chuck: Humphrey. Never a pleasure.
- Dan: Oh good, we agree on something!
- Serena: Plenty of women have been both lover and muse to famous artists. Like Picasso.
- Blair: Blair: Serena, a guy start's out in his blue period and everything's great. But it's only a matter of time until he's all into cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead.
- Blair: Cyrus! He's 5 ft. tall. He has a catch phrase. And he's a HUGGER! I was expecting Carey Grant and I got Danny Devito.
Includes Serena. - Serena: "Its often said that no matter the truth people see what they want to see, some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along, some people might see that their lives have almost caught up to them, some people may see what was there all along, and then there are those other people, the ones who run as far as they can so they dont have to look at themselves, and as for me, I can see clearly now
xoxo-GossipGirl"
Vanessa: "Calling him won't look desperate?"
Jenny: "It will. It will. It will. But in a cute, romantic way."
- Chuck: "I love it when you talk dirty."
- Serena: "You just love it when a girl talks to you."
- Blair: "Cheating, drinking, drugs. It's all fair game. But outing your sister's boyfriend is dark. How did Squeaky Clean Humphrey even come up with that?"
- Dan: "I didn't come up with anything."
- Blair: "Oh my god. You know something. Spill it."
- Dan: "Yeah, I might have seen Asher kissing another guy."
- Serena: ": I talked to the nurse and I'm kidnapping you."
- Erik: "We're going shopping, aren't we?"
- Dan: "Save some trees. Have a blog."
Rufus: "Maybe if musicians got off their "blogs" and picked up their guitars the music business would be in better shape."
Includes Blair. - Blair: "Well we should get going then. Unless you want us to wait for you. Looks like you've got a lot of yogurt left."
- Chuck: "Are you following us or something?"
- Dan: "No, I go to your school. Identical uniforms, isn't that kind of a tip-off?"
Nate: "That's funny."
- Dan: "So, you guys wanna sit together at lunch?"
- Dan: "I think I have brain damage."
- Jenny: "You know, Dan, if you had brain damage you wouldn't even know you had brain damage."
Includes Blair. - Blair: "Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness, didnt know where to shop."
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